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CAPSULES AND RANKINGS
Team: 1. Buffalo (3-1)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Poll demonstrates infallibility.
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Team: 2. Kansas City (4-0)
Opponent: at San Diego
Comment: Battered Chiefs catch a break, draw the Chargers.
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Team: 3. Green Bay (3-1)
Opponent: at Seattle
Comment: Even Seinfeld has bad show sometimes, but never two in row.
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Team: 4. Indianapolis (4-0)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: National Enquirer has photos of Harbaugh’s pact with devil.
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Team: 5. Minnesota (4-0)
Opponent: at N.Y. Giants
Comment: Incentive--If team wins, no one asks Green about lawsuit.
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Team: 6. Denver (3-1)
Opponent: at Cincinnati
Comment: Elway has yet to be heard from this season.
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Team: 7. Philadelphia (3-1)
Opponent: Dallas
Comment: Rhodes mad at Switzer, should be happy Switzer’s coaching.
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Team: 8. Miami (3-1)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Johnson smart with Aikman or Marino. Let’s see with Erickson.
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Team: 9. Washington (3-1)
Opponent: N.Y. Jets
Comment: Obviously the Rams didn’t need Gilbert, Ellard, Bettis....
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Team: 10. Houston (2-1)
Opponent: at Pittsburgh
Comment: Didn’t Chandler also play for the Rams?
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Team: 11. Carolina (3-0)
Opponent: at Jacksonville
Comment: 20 years from now it’s Capers, not Lombardi, in those TV ads.
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Team: 12. San Francisco (2-1)
Opponent: Atlanta
Comment: JFK Jr. gets hitched, 49ers wilt. What next? Rice scores?
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Team: 13. Detroit (2-2)
Opponent: at Tampa Bay
Comment: Fontes’ teams have won 63 regular-season games. Amazing.
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Team: 14. Pittsburgh (2-1)
Opponent: Houston
Comment: Cowher loses best players, continues to win.
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Team: 15. Dallas (1-3)
Opponent: at Philadelphia
Comment: This guy Emmitt Smith isn’t very good, is he?
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Team: 16. San Diego (3-1)
Opponent: Kansas City
Comment: Another Heimlich maneuver week for Chargers.
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Team: 17. New England (2-2)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Two straight wins, a bye and then Baltimore. Life is good.
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Team: 18. Baltimore (1-2)
Opponent: New Orleans
Comment: Modell toilet sold for $2,700; same price as Raven ticket.
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Team: 19. Cincinnati (1-2)
Opponent: Denver
Comment: Bengals improve standing; a bye will do that for you.
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Team: 20. Jacksonville (1-3)
Opponent: Carolina
Comment: Cornerback released after loss; why not before the game?
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Team: 21. Chicago (1-3)
Opponent: Oakland
Comment: Receivers drop six passes; didn’t know Kramer that accurate.
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Team: 22. St. Louis (1-2)
Opponent: at Arizona
Comment: Georgia went through 7 husbands; Brooks on only 4th QB.
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Team: 23. Oakland (1-3)
Opponent: at Chicago
Comment: Memo to Al Davis: Call any time for advice. Leave a message.
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Team: 24. Seattle (1-3)
Opponent: Green Bay
Comment: Two Days in the Valley--Behring’s attempt to leave Seattle.
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Team: 25. Atlanta (0-4)
Opponent: at San Francisco
Comment: George to coach: “Why would anyone name their boy June?”
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Team: 26. New York Giants (1-3)
Opponent: Minnesota
Comment: Yankees win title, offer to loan Steinbrenner to Giants.
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Team: 27. Arizona (1-3)
Opponent: St. Louis
Comment: Johnson runs 214 yards before escape attempt is thwarted.
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Team: 28. New Orleans (0-4)
Opponent: at Baltimore
Comment: Everett 14-22 as Saint QB, eligible to wear paper bag.
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Team: 29. Tampa Bay (0-4)
Opponent: Detroit
Comment: Home game against Saints on Nov. 24 looming large.
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Team: 30. New York Jets (0-4)
Opponent: at Washington
Comment: Kotite 3-24 and he’s paid more than you. Have a nice day.
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