Chiefs, Dolphins and Redskins: Contenders or Just Pretenders?

Week 7, and the questions:

1. Could you please identify the frauds currently residing high in the NFL standings?

2. How can the 49ers hope to overcome the Cheeseheads, Reggie White, Brett Favre and all the Monday night hoopla with a backup quarterback?

3. What’s with Bryan Cox, the Bears’ linebacker who made an obscene gesture to an official last week?

4. Why are the Raiders playing this weekend when the rest of the AFC West has a bye?

5. Any upset possibilities?

*

And the answers:

1. Kansas City, Miami and Washington.

The Chiefs can’t score, and although they will win 10 games, the city and players know already that they can’t advance very far with Steve Bono at quarterback. The Dolphin kids responded like a college team to Jimmy Johnson’s routine, but after three games NFL teams receive videotape of each team and the kids’ weaknesses are beginning to be exposed. The Redskins have beaten the Bears, Giants, Rams and Jets, who are a combined 5-17.

2. The 49ers are saving starting quarterback Steve Young for the playoff rematch, but in the meantime check out these numbers: The 49ers are 23-9-1 since 1981 when a backup quarterback starts. And Elvis Grbac has been King, going 5-2 in that role. Some coaches worry about playing teams that have been forced to play a backup in a key position, because they realize the supporting cast will dedicate itself to playing harder to make up for drop-off. But that shouldn’t concern Green Bay’s Mike Holmgren, because whether it’s Young or Grbac, either one figures to be dog meat at Lambeau Field, where the Packers have won 14 of 15 games.

3. Cox is a) a competitive player who can’t stand to lose, b) a leader trying to rev up the troops, or c) a loser.

Answer: c.

Cox has been fined eight times in his 5 1/2-year career, including last year for spitting in the direction of Buffalo Bill fans. So at the very least he’s losing some money, and last time someone checked, this guy hasn’t taken his team to a Super Bowl.

After making the obscene gesture last week to the official because a Packer receiver climbed over a Bear defender to make a catch of a Hail Mary pass, Cox removed his helmet and stood on the field with his back turned to the Packers’ extra-point attempt. He later announced his teammates had no heart. Gen. Patton, he is not.

And apparently, the organization has no brains either, because it gave Cox $13.2 million, including a $5-million signing bonus, to leave Miami to inspire the Bears this season. At least he’ll have the money to pay off his $87,500 fine.

4. The Raiders have been ostracized because they are inept. They were the worst team in the division a year ago and earned the fifth-place schedule, separating them from the other teams in the division. As a rule, the team playing the fifth-place schedule usually fattens its record and improves overnight. Usually is the operative word and obviously doesn’t apply to the Raiders this season, who so far have beaten only the mighty Jaguars and the dynamic Jets.

5. Obvious answer is New England over Washington, but then New England is favored--not fair. So for a reach: Tampa Bay and the New York Giants. The Buccaneers have to win sooner or later, they’ve had previous success against the Vikings, and maybe Minnesota will knock quarterback Trent Dilfer out of the game early. The Giants aren’t any good, but how good are the Eagles going to be with Ty Detmer at quarterback?

TV GAMES

* GO GET ‘EM, JIMMY

Miami (3-2) at Buffalo (4-1), 10 a.m., Channel 4: The Bills have won two weeks in a row with backup quarterback Todd Collins, and Jim Kelly is still listed as questionable because of a hamstring injury. The Dolphins are still stinging from a loss to Seattle, have been berated by Johnson all week, and will either be pumped up for an upset or lost in a mighty pout.

--Say what: Memo to Thurman Thomas--The Dolphin defense ranks No. 1 against the run and has not allowed a rushing touchdown in the last 26 quarters.

--Player to watch: Miami quarterback Craig Erickson, targeted as the team’s future quarterback beyond Marino, was unimpressive in his starting debut, contributing an interception and four mishandled snaps.

--Finally: Miami wants to run the ball with Karim Abdul-Jabbar, and the Bills rank a vulnerable No. 20 against the run. Hint, hint of what’s to come.

* REDEMPTION BOWL

Arizona (2-3) at Dallas (2-3), 10 a.m., Channel 11: Cardinal fans have been waiting since this team’s arrival for something even approaching a .500 season. The Cowboys go to work again with wide receiver Michael Irvin, who will be looking to reclaim his hot-dog image after a five-game drug suspension.

--Say what: The Dallas offense ranks No. 25 in rushing the ball. Emmitt who?

--Player to watch: Kent Graham. The Cardinals’ starting quarterback is 2-0 this season, and that has to be some kind of record. Graham was 12 for 28 for 151 yards for the New York Giants in a 30-3 loss to Dallas in 1992.

--Finally: The Cowboys have beaten the Cardinals 11 consecutive times.

* COACHING CLINIC

Detroit (4-2) at Oakland (2-4), 1 p.m., Channel 11: In trying to please Al Davis, Coach Mike White’s Raiders have shown little creativity and no discipline. As for Detroit Coach Wayne Fontes, the Lions are just good enough each year not to get him fired, but what if he had gone all the way and blown last week’s 28-0 lead?

--Say what: Lion quarterback Scott Mitchell is No. 2 in the NFL with 11 touchdowns, running back Barry Sanders is No. 1 in the NFC with 562 yards and wide receiver Herman Moore leads the NFL with 45 receptions and 614 yards. So why is it such a struggle for the Lions to win every week?

--Player to watch: Raider running back Joe Aska gets another chance to plant Harvey Williams on the bench. Williams won’t play because of a calf injury. Anyone seen Napoleon Kaufman?

--Finally: The Raiders have 10 more giveaways than takeaways. That’s not good.

* WILL THE REAL COLTS . . .

Baltimore (2-3) at Indianapolis (4-1), 5 p.m. TNT: For the die-hards in Baltimore, who have yet to embrace the Ravens, bitterness remains from that snowy night when Robert Irsay had the moving vans steal away their Colts. Lose this one and Indy can have Coach Ted Marchibroda back.

--Say what: The Ravens are the best in the AFC when advancing inside the 20-yard line--11 for 17 in scoring touchdowns--and that’s with Vinny Testaverde at quarterback.

--Player to watch: Baltimore running back Bam Morris, who carried the Steelers to the Super Bowl, makes his debut for the Ravens after his suspension for marijuana possession. And here’s a fine NFL welcome for him: Morris runs into the AFC’s second-best run defense.

--Finally: The Colts are 4-1 for the first time since 1977, and won’t that irritate the locals in Baltimore if the Colts advance to 5-1 at the expense of their new team.

TICKET REFUND, PLEASE

Cincinnati (1-4) at Pittsburgh (4-1): The Bengals were home a week ago on Sunday night TV with the best chance they will ever have to win a game, their kicker needing only to put the ball through the uprights from 40 yards. One look at Coach David Shula’s face suggested he knew it was going to sail wide before the ball left the kicker’s foot. The Steelers, meanwhile, are coming off the win of the year on Monday night, and that Shula face should be looking pretty sad long before halftime.

--Say what: The Bengals fell to 31 games under .500 during Shula’s five-year tenure (19-50) and are 1-14 in October the last five years.

--Player to watch: Pittsburgh running back Jerome Bettis has run for more than 100 yards in four consecutive games. And he was supposed to be finished.

--Finally: The Steelers have given up only four touchdowns in the last four games--all victories--but Cincinnati quarterback Jeff Blake has a 144.3 passer rating in the last two games against Pittsburgh and wide receiver Carl Pickens has gone over 100 yards receiving in his last three games against the Steelers.

Houston (3-2) at Atlanta (0-5): The Falcons foundered with Jeff George at quarterback, and without him they haven’t been that good. The Oilers have shown indications that they might be on the verge of becoming a playoff team but will probably do so when they settle in Nashville.

--Say what: The Falcons scored three times on the ground last week. They hadn’t posted a rushing touchdown since Eric Metcalf’s 23-yard run against Miami on Dec. 3, 1995.

--Player to watch: Houston running back Eddie George leads all rookies with 446 yards, and his 5.8-yard rushing average tops all running backs who have rushed for at least 350 yards.

--Finally: No one else might watch, but the Matthews family will be there. Oiler guard Bruce Matthews, 40, faces his brother, Falcon linebacker Clay, for 23rd time.

St. Louis (1-4) at Carolina (3-2): Ram Coach Rich Brooks has been wishy-washy in his decision-making, and although there have been good reports about rookie quarterback Tony Banks, the team lacks one important detail: victories.

--Say what: Remember when the Panthers were 3-0? They couldn’t beat the Rams in two meetings last season, and everybody beats the Rams.

--Players to watch: Derrick Harris and Lawrence Phillips. This dynamic rookie duo combined for 28 yards in 11 carries a week ago.

--Finally: The Panthers have won seven of their last eight games at home and are 6-0 in Carolina when they score 20 or more points. The Rams have given up more than 20 points three times this season.

New York Jets (0-6) at Jacksonville (2-4): The Jaguars are favored by more than a touchdown to ground the Jets. Yes, NFL football at its worst.

--Say what: Frank Reich, who couldn’t make it as an expansion quarterback, starts in place of Neil O’Donnell, who has a shoulder injury, for the Jets, who are also without Webster Slaughter and Keyshawn Johnson, Hugh Douglas and Marvin Jones.

--Player to watch: Find somebody, and report back.

--Finally: The Jaguars have the No. 1 passing attack in the league, in part, because they are always trying to catch up.

Minnesota (5-1) at Tampa Bay (0-5): The only way the Buccaneers will beat Minnesota is if the Vikings play dead, as they did against the Giants a few weeks ago. Not sure even that would make a difference.

--Say what: Name Tampa Bay’s leading receiver. Forget it. Rookie running back Mike Alstott with 16 catches.

--Player to watch: Take a guess how many times Buccaneer quarterback Trent Dilfer turns the ball over combined with how many times he gets sacked. The Viking defense leads the NFC with 20 sacks and has forced seven turnovers.

--Finally: Shocking update--Tampa Bay has won three of the last five games between the teams.

INTERESTING POSSIBILITIES

Philadelphia (3-2) at New York Giants (2-3): Mark Rypien has been signed as a backup quarterback, but the Eagles made a deal in the off-season to lure Ty Detmer from Green Bay, and they were prepared to have him battle Rodney Peete, lost to a knee injury, for the starting assignment earlier. So they’ve been wrong from the very beginning.

--Say what: The Eagles have seven interceptions in the last three games, and they are playing the Giants, who have the No. 30 passing attack in the league and Dave Brown at quarterback. Doesn’t seem fair.

--Player to watch: Giant cornerback Jason Sehorn is second on the team with three sacks, which indicates Mike Nolan’s defense is sending blitzers from all directions.

--Finally: The Giants have not given up an offensive touchdown in the last eight quarters, but then they haven’t played Ricky Watters yet. The Eagles are 7-0 since Week 10 of 1995 when rushing for 100 or more yards.

Washington (4-1) at New England (3-2): The Redskins are in the position of asserting themselves as a legitimate powerhouse. The Patriots have been erratic. They have a solid runner in Curtis Martin, but rank only No. 22 rushing the ball.

--Say what: The Patriots have scored 105 points in three wins, 20 points in two losses. Which team shows up against Washington?

--Player to watch: The Redskins offer no secrets--they are going to give the ball to Terry Allen, who has gone over the 100-yard mark three times. Quarterback Gus Frerotte is averaging only 24 passes a game.

--Finally: The Washington defense ranks No. 26 but has allowed the fewest points in the NFL: 56.

WHO DAT VS. DA STIFFS

Chicago (2-4) at New Orleans (1-5): The Bears lost their starting quarterback, their backup to the backup, and lost the chance to complete a trade for Seattle quarterback Rick Mirer. The Saints just lose.

--Say what: New Orleans guard Jim Dombrowski has the team record for consecutive games started at 147--that’s a lot of losses.

--Player to watch: Now that Bear running back Rashaan Salaam has solved his fumbling problems, he might move forward. A week ago he averaged little more than two yards a carry.

--Finally: The Saints have the No. 30 rushing defense and the No. 30 rushing attack.