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CAPSULES AND RANKINGS
Team: 1. Denver (5-1)
Opponent: Baltimore
Comment: So you expected, maybe, the cheatin’ cheeseheads?
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Team: 2. Green Bay (6-1)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Should be 5-1-1--5 wins, 1 loss, 1 gift from refs.
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Team: 3. San Francisco (4-2)
Opponent: Cincinnati
Comment: Re: UCLA investigations--did Stokes ever have hands?
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Team: 4. Buffalo (4-2)
Opponent: at N.Y. Jets
Comment: We repeat: These guys aren’t very good.
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Team: 5. Indianapolis (5-1)
Opponent: New England
Comment: Colts no longer take bus; require ambulance.
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Team: 6. Pittsburgh (5-1)
Opponent: at Houston
Comment: Call Rams, (314) 982-7267, say one word: Bettis .
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Team: 7. Miami (4-2)
Opponent: at Philadelphia
Comment: A week before Dallas game. Will Jimmy guarantee win?
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Team: 8. Washington (5-1)
Opponent: N.Y. Giants
Comment: Call Rams, (314) 982-7267, say one word: Ellard.
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Team: 9. Dallas (3-3)
Opponent: Atlanta
Comment: Irvin doffs helmet. Why? Everyone saw his mug shot.
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Team: 10. Minnesota (5-2)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Losses to Buccaneers and Giants. Fontes coaching this team?
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Team: 11. Kansas City (5-2)
Opponent: Beat Seattle
Comment: “Get on the Bus.” What fans would like to tell Bono.
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Team: 12. Houston (4-2)
Opponent: Pittsburgh
Comment: Chandler? McNair? Does it matter who hands off to George?
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Team: 13. Philadelphia (4-2)
Opponent: Miami
Comment: No offensive TDs in six quarters; Detmer has played six quarters.
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Team: 14. San Diego (4-2)
Opponent: Oakland
Comment: ABC sending blimp in case Mims gets third sack.
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Team: 15. Detroit (4-3)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Three Stooges: Fontes, Mitchell, guy who keeps Fontes.
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Team: 16. Carolina (4-2)
Opponent: New Orleans
Comment: Call Rams, (314) 982-7267, say one word: Greene.
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Team: 17. New England (3-3)
Opponent: at Indianapolis
Comment: Bledsoe: Time to begin. Why didn’t coach think of it?
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Team: 18. Oakland (3-4)
Opponent: at San Diego
Comment: Raiders on Monday TV, in family hour, three times in eight weeks.
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Team: 19. Baltimore (2-4)
Opponent: at Denver
Comment: Go back to Cleveland.
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Team: 20. Jacksonville (3-4)
Opponent: at St. Louis
Comment: The expansion challenge; Carolina scored 45 on Rams.
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Team: 21. Seattle (2-5)
Opponent: Lost to K.C.
Comment: Last winning record? Knox was coach, Bush president.
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Team: 22. N.Y. Giants (2-4)
Opponent: at Washington
Comment: Watching Brown brings Chaplin to mind.
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Team: 23. Chicago (2-5)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Bears blame woes on injuries, Clinton, Alomar, planet alignment.
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Team: 24. Arizona (2-4)
Opponent: Tampa Bay
Comment: Kent Graham looking good. Who is Kent Graham?
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Team: 25. New Orleans (2-5)
Opponent: at Carolina
Comment: Two straight wins ignite “Mora, coach of year” campaign.
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Team: 26. Cincinnati (1-5)
Opponent: at San Francisco
Comment: Monday on Jerry Springer, “My wife thinks Shula can coach.”
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Team: 27. St. Louis (1-5)
Opponent: Jacksonville
Comment: Call Rams, (314) 982-7267, and just laugh.
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Team: 28. Tampa Bay (1-5)
Opponent: at Arizona
Comment: Dilfer plays like QB; his 15 minutes of fame are gone.
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Team: 29. Atlanta (0-6)
Opponent: at Dallas
Comment: Bring back George and make this a Stephen King novel.
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Team: 30. N.Y. Jets (0-7)
Opponent: Buffalo
Comment: What to watch? Jets, or Yankees in World Series?
THE POLLS: Associated Press and USA Today/CNN--C12
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