Just Imagine if Bob Saget Ran an NFL Team

In every NFL scouting department, the Baltimore Sun’s Gary Lambrecht recently learned, there’s a collection of favorite videos sent by young men for whom the dream died hard.

The Cleveland Browns, for example, several years ago received a video sent by a would-be prospect who wanted to demonstrate to the club he had the speed to make the Browns winners.

The only thing on the tape was the young man racing a horse, across a meadow. The horse won.

Another video showed a young man demonstrating his strength by juggling bowling balls.

Said Ozzie Newsome, chief scout for the Baltimore Ravens:

“Every day, I get a call, fax or letter from somebody saying they deserved an opportunity to play in the NFL, guys ranging from four feet tall to 500 pounds. This is America. It’s all about that dream.”

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Trivia time: Which NBA coach once played college basketball for Clipper Coach Bill Fitch?

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Let ‘em boo: New York Knick center Patrick Ewing ripped Knick fans recently for booing the team during a sloppy victory over the Clippers at Madison Square Garden.

“I’m tired of it,” he said. “They’re annoying me. If they’re going to act [like that] . . . they might as well stay home.”

Responded Newsday’s Steve Jacobson:

“Those people pay $1,000 a courtside ticket, $425 behind courtside down to a few at $18. The Knicks have had 132 consecutive sellouts. If they’d stayed home, who would have paid Ewing $21 million the last two years?”

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Overtime for wardrobe: Dennis Rodman, who is to be paid $2 million for an upcoming role in a Jean-Claude Van Damme film, plans to spend a lot of time selecting his clothes.

Said Van Damme’s publicist: “We’re going to give Dennis a lot of freedom when it comes to selecting a wardrobe for the part.”

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Trivia answer: Chicago’s Phil Jackson, who played for Fitch at North Dakota.

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And finally: This bit of candor from the Washington Redskins’ Marvcus Patton, after his team’s poor showing last week in a 24-10 loss to Tampa Bay:

“I have to apologize to our fans because we’ve been playing like crap and I want to use stronger words, but you’re not going to print them, so I’ll just apologize.”