Don’t Pass Go, Don’t Collect Your Tour Card

For the golfer who has everything, now there is the golf edition of Monopoly. And, no, you don’t land in a bunker instead of going to jail.

Players try to buy tournaments, golf courses and resorts and charge their opponents for playing--make that landing--on your real estate.

And for the record, the top two properties are not Park Place and Boardwalk, but Pebble Beach and Pinehurst.

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Trivia time: Who is the only pitcher who faced the Boston Braves, Milwaukee Braves and Atlanta Braves?

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The lowdown: Here’s the New York Daily News headline on the Andrew Golota-Riddick Bowe fight last week that ended with Golota being disqualified for low blows for the second time in five months: “Golota repeats Riddick-ulous DQ”

And this from columnist Mark Kriegel: “[Golota] might not be the Baddest Man on the Planet, but he’s a lock for the Stupidest Human.”

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Be like Mike: When he played basketball as a kid, a player at the University of Pennsylvania used to pretend he was Michael Jordan.

So what? Well, it wasn’t too much of a stretch, because that Penn player’s name is . . . Michael Jordan.

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How about a new deal? When New Jersey guard Khalid Reeves demanded to be traded after missing all seven shots in a loss to the Bulls, Net Coach John Calipari said, “When you play like he did, you’re going to demand anything.”

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Forward feud: It might be a good thing that Utah and Miami meet only twice during the NBA season.

“I have more respect for Dennis Rodman than I do for Karl Malone,” Miami forward P.J. Brown said after the Heat’s 94-87 overtime loss to the Jazz on Thursday night. “He gets away with a lot of pushing and shoving.”

Told of Brown’s comments, Malone responded: “Every time I turn around, somebody is taking a stab at me. It’s been that way forever. That’s what I don’t like about some of these young guys--they don’t have respect for their elders.”

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Or all the snow: From Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer: “You could probably buy half the province of Manitoba for what the Toronto Blue Jays paid Roger Clemens.”

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Trivia answer: Robin Roberts, who pitched from 1948 to 1966.

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And finally: Sha-Ron Elzy, a guard for Cal State Northridge’s basketball team, wears No. 35 because it looks like his initials ‘SE’ upside down.