Memories of Mother

In a major, but little-known ritual on Mother’s Day, tens of thousands of people will visit the graves of their deceased mothers Sunday--producing the biggest crowds of the year for Southern California cemeteries.

About 17,000 vehicles streamed into the five Forest Lawn Memorial-Parks on Mother’s Day last year. That’s about 42,000 people, based on an estimate that each vehicle carries an average of two to three people, a Forest Lawn spokesman said.

One of the largest Catholic cemeteries, Holy Cross in Culver City, expects about 10,000 visitors. The numbers are smaller, but the story is the same at Jewish cemeteries.

“My mother passed away in 1971 and I’ve been going every Mother’s Day since,” said Seymour Rosen of Toluca Lake. “I usually take some roses and flowers from my garden with me.”

Last Mother’s Day, Rosen’s car was one of 2,545 that went through the gates of Mt. Sinai Memorial Park, just south of Burbank and north of Griffith Park.

Next to Mt. Sinai, Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills handled 6,072 vehicles on Mother’s Day--the largest crowd at any of the Forest Lawn cemeteries. Forest Lawn Glendale was second with 4,368 cars.

Cemetery employees say the traffic is not as heavy in most places on Father’s Day.

Rosen said he also goes on Father’s Day because his father is buried next to his mother. “I say a few words to my parents,” he said.

He said he is certain to go again on Memorial Day and the traditional memorial services during the Jewish High Holy Days.

“I’ve noticed that more people seem to be coming on Father’s Day in recent years,” Rosen said. Indeed, Mt. Sinai officials counted 2,100 vehicles last year and 2,400 the year before on Father’s Day--relatively close to that cemetery’s figures for Mother’s Day.

Yet, given that statistics show men tend to die younger than women, resulting in more widows than widowers, opinions differed on why Father’s Day doesn’t draw bigger crowds.

Lewis “Jerry” McAdams, property development director with the Los Angeles Archdiocese’s Catholic Cemeteries and Mausoleums, speculated that “with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, the children normally stay with the mother” and their attachment is not always as strong to the father.

But an official at a Jewish cemetery disagreed. “The mother is the boss, and she’s the one everybody turned to in life,” and so is the one more likely to be visited after death, said Lisa Fizdale, office manager at Mt. Sinai.

At the Catholic-run Holy Cross Cemetery, where manager Phillip Birgel has worked for 38 years, Birgel said Mother’s Day numbers have grown over the years into a virtual tie with Memorial Day crowds.

“In comparison to the late 1950s and the 1960s, the new populations of Hispanic, Korean and Vietnamese are more prone to honor the dead than American-born people,” Birgel said.

Although many visitors bring flowers along to place at grave sites, Holy Cross Cemetery and San Fernando Mission Cemetery in Mission Hills permit an on-site vendor to sell flowers.

For Mother’s Day, Forest Lawn cemeteries allow their flower shops to set up special sales tents just inside the entrances.

By early afternoon, said Paula Graber, a vice president at Forest Lawn, the grounds “are gorgeous, just bursting with color all over.”