This Would Drive Chauffeurs Crazy

Corinne and George Sidney sent along the minutes of a recent Recreation and Parks Commission meeting that mentioned “enhanced programming for community teens,” including a proposed “scavenger hunt by limousine.”

Oh, did we say this was in Beverly Hills?

The luxury frolic never occurred, much to the relief, one suspects, of the area’s chauffeurs. Pity the poor drivers who’d have to motor from address to address, disembarking each time to scour the bushes for treasures while the little darlings in the back seat shouted directions.

VALETS WHO DON’T SQUEAL TIRES: Long Beach offers what may be the nation’s first valet bicycle parking. And it’s free (you don’t even need to tip).

“We get jurors, downtown [Long Beach] workers, tourists, Metro Rail passengers,” said Mark Shandrow, manager of the MTA-financed Bikestation at 1st Street and the Promenade.

There’s also a changing area, restroom and cafe on the premises.

The bicycles, by the way, are hung from a rack inside the facility. Unlike the people who take your car keys, the bicycle valets never park the vehicles on the street.

MA BELL, BABY BELL AND . . . ! Judging from the snapshot by Gary Shireman of El Monte, there seems to be a new phone company in town. (see photo) We have no beef with that.

LIST OF THE DAY: Some strange findings by Only in L.A.’s eagle-eyed readers:

* A discount store coupon for a free “1977 calendar,” from Eduardo Tinoco.

* A CD of Mozart’s “Cosi Fan Tutte” opera, which appeared on a sales receipt as “Cosifan Turtle,” from Janice Stoll. (Mozart’s not one of the Ninja Turtles is he?)

* A health club where you can “relive” your stress, from John Song.

* A flier for a house with “manicured Spanish stucco,” from Edna Kunze.

* Finally, a letter from the Council of Communication Management, addressing David Nemer as Ms. Nemer--”a case of Ms. management,” Nemer noted.

LOVE IS NOT . . . : The publisher of “1,001 Ways to Be Romantic” calls August “Romantic Awareness Month” and has issued a calendar of daily romantic suggestions. I’m afraid, though, that some gestures could be misinterpreted in this somewhat somber age. For example:

* Aug. 1: “Write ‘I Love You’ on the bathroom mirror with a piece of soap.” (Wasn’t that a scene in a stalker movie?)

* Aug. 4: “Call from work--every hour on the hour--to say, ‘I Love You.”’ (My working wife says she’d hang up if she heard my voice on the line the second time I called.)

* Aug. 12: “Play hooky from work! Spend all day together.” (In this era of job uncertainty?)

* Aug. 20:”Gals: Leave a love note under the windshield wiper of his car.” (I know people who automatically rip up anything left under their windshield wiper.)

miscelLAny

The Candy Factory in North Hollywood has chocolate “Ear-Vander-Tyson Bites” in the shape of “slightly nibbled ears.” Price: $5 a pair. Which reminds us: Judi Birnberg of Sherman Oaks says the joke going around the law firm of her husband, Jim, is that it should represent Holyfield. The firm’s name: Loeb & Loeb.