He’s a Lou-Lou of a Bargain for the Aggies

Lou Henson, former Illinois basketball coach, agreed to come out of retirement and coach the New Mexico State men’s team--for $1 a month.

Henson agreed to return to his alma mater to coach the Aggies pro bono while helping the school find a replacement for Coach Neil McCarthy, who was reassigned as assistant athletic director days before the start of practice.

Henson ranks seventh on the list of all-time winningest coaches with 663 victories.

Trivia time: When did Stanford last play in the Rose Bowl game and what was the result?

Is there a cure? Arizona Cardinal Coach Vince Tobin, on rookie quarterback Jake Plummer: “There’s something inside him that’s kind of contagious. He’s got something like an itch, and I want to scratch it and see exactly what he’s got.”

Poor taste department: A pro-stadium Minnesota Twins’ television commercial showing a player visiting a young cancer patient was pulled off the air in Minneapolis on Wednesday after some viewers complained the team was exploiting sick children.

The ad was one of several 15-second spots aimed at showing Minnesotans what they would miss if the Twins left town. The team is threatening to leave if it doesn’t get a new publicly financed stadium.

Lonesome: Tony Gonzalez, rookie tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, is still adjusting to life in the NFL.

“For the first time in my life, I’m around older men every day,” he said. “They’ve got wives and kids and families to go home to every night. I’m used to asking, ‘Where’s the party?’ ”

Media coaching: Headline in the New York Post before New York Jet Coach Bill Parcells named Glenn Foley the starting quarterback over Neil O’Donnell:

“TIME TO END FOLLY AND GO WITH FOLEY.”

Appropriate: San Diego Charger running back Gary Brown will earn a $1-million bonus if he rushes for 1,000 yards this season. He has 677 yards after nine games.

Brown attended Williamsport (Pa.) High School. The school’s nickname? The Millionaires.

FYI: Another pro football team that played here in the mid-1970s was the Southern California Sun of the World Football League. The Sun was based in Anaheim.

Tom Fears, an NFL Hall of Fame end who played for the Rams, was the coach. Players included Anthony Davis and Pat Haden from USC and Joe Carollo and Daryle Lamonica, who formerly played for the Rams and Oakland Raiders, respectively.

Otherworldly: San Francisco 49er President Carmen Policy, on Jerry Rice’s possible early return to the team after a knee injury:

“He’s not of this earth. It’s like he came here on a comet and Mr. and Mrs. Rice raised him, so we don’t judge him by mortal or earthly standards. When doctors look at him, they don’t examine him as much as they are informed.”

Trivia answer: Stanford defeated previously unbeaten Michigan, 13-12, on Jan. 1, 1972.

And finally: Gene Wojciechowski in the Chicago Tribune: “I believe that the two hardest things in sports are making a downhill four-footer at Augusta’s No. 16, or carrying four cups of beer in two hands.

“I [also] believe soccer will succeed in America shortly after Dennis Rodman wins an Academy Award.”