This Market Is the Place to Go for Your Greens

Forward Tom Gugliotta, making $27 million on a five-year contract with the Minnesota Timberwolves, offered some player perspective on teammate Kevin Garnett’s six-year, $125-million deal, saying: “That’s definitely mind-boggling. The amount of money I make is mind-boggling. The public can’t even get a grip on that, and deservedly so. But that’s where the market is.”

Whatever, it’s a dream market.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NCAA Division I-A football record for points scored in a game, not including kickers?

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Hype disadvantage: Auburn Coach Terry Bowden, on his quarterback, Dameyune Craig, joining the Heisman race late after Peyton Manning of Tennessee got so much attention:

“When you think of all the pre-publicity that’s required, we might be whistling ‘Dixie.’ ”

That’s a good place to do that.

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He’s still growing: Who is the biggest football player in Division I-A? Louisiana Tech offers offensive tackle Chris Crudup, who merely stands 6 feet 10 and weighs 390 pounds.

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Eastern snobbery: Tony Kornheiser in the Washington Post, after the Redskins defeated the previously unbeaten Jacksonville Jaguars:

“The only difference between Washington and Jacksonville is that one city is the capital of the United States, and the other is a Sun Belt arriviste hellhole where the most commonly heard words are: ‘Hi. Welcome to the Waffle House. Smoking or non-smoking?’ ”

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Good vs. evil: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The NHL season has started, and the NBA opens on Halloween. It will be interesting to see who has the better year, God [Washington Wizard rookie point guard God Shammgod] or Satan [Buffalo Sabre left wing Miroslav Satan].”

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Plenty of room: Denver Bronco tight end Shannon Sharpe, on the home of the Atlanta Falcons, the Georgia Dome: “I heard there’s not a bad seat in the house, but when you only have 10,000 people show up, I guess not.”

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Aw, tell us: Trent Dilfer, Tampa Bay Buccaneer quarterback, on Coach Tony Dungy: “I’m not going to tell you how much I love Tony because everyone would think I’m weird, but he’s wonderful. I think he’s the single greatest factor in our success.”

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Trivia answer: Howard Griffith of Illinois, 48 points (all touchdowns) against Southern Illinois on Sept. 22, 1990.

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And finally: Some excerpts from a conference call exchange between New York writers and Dallas Cowboy Coach Barry Switzer:

Q: “How could you take a gun to the airport?”

Switzer: “I’m 60, I’m absent-minded and I forgot about the thing. Do you think I was trying to hijack the plane to Cuba?

“And I keep it loaded. What’s an unloaded gun good for? You people live in New York, you all ought to understand that.”