Series of Falls for Team of ‘90s

This is a good town for a choke and a smile. Atlanta, the party is over. Jane, wake up Ted. Ted, wake up Jane. “The Team of the ‘90s” isn’t. “The Team of the ‘90s” has won one World Series. “The Team of the ‘90s” just lost to a team born in the ‘90s.

Chop that.

In a battle between the peach boys and the beach boys, Florida prevailed. A five-year-old expansion team--an ill, injured team--made Atlanta look sick. The winners came down with everything but Mad Marlin Disease, but it didn’t matter. In the frank words of a Brave pitcher, John Smoltz, “They beat us in every facet of the game.”

Atlanta won 106 games, lost 65 . . . and couldn’t even win the pennant.

Florida hit .199 as a team . . . and still beat the Braves in six games.

“Nah, we didn’t beat ourselves,” the Atlanta manager, Bobby Cox, said in a reflex answer to an obvious question. Nah, of course not. The Braves never beat themselves. Somebody else does it for them. In their 31 years of baseball in this city, these guys have won one more World Series than the Chicago Cubs.

Winning the division is nice. Winning the first-round divisional series is nice. But win the primary, win the nomination, that still makes you Walter Mondale.

A team from Canada has won more World Series than the “Team of the ‘90s” has in the ‘90s. That’s a fact. America’s Team should be Toronto.

Bad luck?

“Let me tell you something, these things are a crapshoot when you get into them,” Cox said.

Yes, and on the Brave reservation, it often comes up snake eyes, doesn’t it?

As an organization, the Braves have won the World Series twice since 1914. One of those times was 1957, when Milwaukee won the National League pennant. Things have come so full circle since then, Milwaukee might be back in the National League next season, trying to beat the Braves.

It could be Atlanta will be in the 1998 playoffs for the seventh season in a row.

“We’re not going to quit. I’m not going to retire. The pitching staff’s not going to retire,” Smoltz said. “We’re going to put on our uniforms next year and try to get back to this point.”

Note: Smoltz said this before Tuesday night’s game.

And a weird game it was. Tom Glavine pitched for Atlanta. He normally is a guy you want out there. He normally has good control. Glavine’s control in Game 6 was about as good as that of Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams. He walked seven. He hit a man. And he didn’t even get past the sixth inning.

About the only guy Glavine outlasted was the umpire.

Frank Pulli must have thought he was seeing things, watching Glavine’s pitches go everywhere but over home plate. Pulli squinted his way through four innings. He wore short sleeves, on a windy, 56-degree night. He squatted far behind the catcher, trying to focus. Pulli pulled himself out, saying he had “a bad film” over his eyes. (Maybe it was “Barbarella.”)

For the last two games, Ted Turner’s players thought the umpires had the vision of Mister Magoo. A pitch to Fred McGriff that ended Game 5 was so far outside, the batboy ducked. A pitch Glavine threw to Gary Sheffield midway through Game 6 cut the plate in half but was called a ball.

“They looked like on the replays they were right down the middle,” Cox said.

It was a strange series from the start. One game, the Marlins were so sore at the umpires, they filed an official protest. Another game, 15 Braves struck out, comparing Eric Gregg’s strike zone to the Grand Canyon. Some of those pitches were so far outside they looked like intentional walks.

No excuses for the Braves, though.

They lost Game 6 from the get-go. The first pitch was thrown out by funny-man Jeff Foxworthy. The next pitch was thrown out by Glavine, very seriously. Devon White hit it to center field, for a single.

Of the 35 batters Glavine faced, 18 got on base. He walked the second batter. The next, Sheffield, looked at two strikes--each a foot outside--then looked at Pulli as if the Marlin had just seen a Martian. He had to swing at the next pitch--also a foot outside--and singled to right.

Florida batted around. By the time Kevin Brown came up, Glavine had walked two, hit one. A wise guy suggested Glavine should hit Brown, on purpose, to get the Florida pitcher out of the game and give Atlanta a chance. But no way the Braves would sink that low.

“We did fight back,” Glavine said. “This team never quit.”

No, but it didn’t win, either.

That’s the bottom line. There is no joy in Coca-Colaville. A bunch of 5-year-olds just beat the Braves, drowning them in the fountain of youth.