Times NFL writer T.J. Simers poses--and answers--the burning questions on. . . Game Day

1. Question: What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard this season?

Answer: A businesslike Mike Shanahan, his team fined earlier this year for not putting John Elway’s name on the NFL’s injury report, putting tight end Shannon Sharpe on this week, listing him as probable with laryngitis.

Sharpe is fine, he just didn’t want to talk to the media this week about the bad blood between the Broncos and Chiefs.

2. Q: How have teams fared after moving?

A: Raiders don’t count, because they are liable to move while this sentence is being written. The Colts are 92-149 since leaving Baltimore for Indianapolis, with five winning seasons. The other teams that have moved since then have yet to have a winning season. The Ravens, formerly the Browns, are 15-28-1, the Oilers are 14-14, the Rams 21-39 and the Cardinals, the worst, are 61-111.

3. Q: Is Detroit rookie quarterback Charlie Batch planning on being a doctor?

A: No. But he knew enough to tell team trainers how to treat his sore neck recently. “They put ice on it, but I said, ‘I don’t want ice on it. That’s going to stiffen it up, put some heat.’ ” They did, and he returned to lead the team to a win over Pittsburgh.

4. Q: How bad are the Bears?

A: So bad, a principal at a local elementary school warned the kids he would allow only youngsters wearing the Bears’ colors to ask questions of visiting Chicago fullback Ty Hallock for fear the kids wearing the Packers’ jerseys might dominate.

“There were a couple of die-hard Bears’ fans who had their dad’s sweatshirts on,” said Fernway Park Elementary Principal Dennis Gurney.

5. Q: Is there any chance of Bernie Kosar making a comeback in Cleveland a la Steve DeBerg in Atlanta?

A: Yes. Kosar, who played nine years in Cleveland before wrapping up his career in Dallas and Miami, might be afforded the opportunity to re-sign with the new franchise and formally retire as a Brown.