Hey Brentwood, the Bees Are Coming

In “Gates of Eden,” the title story in movie maker Ethan Coen’s collection of short fiction, a state weight and measures inspector boozes it up at the home of a Brentwood resident. When he awakens, he finds himself covered with bee stings. Poor Brentwood. After all the unwanted publicity of recent years, now it’s the literary site for a plague of killer bees?

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DOUBLE TAKE: “Leave it to a 9-year-old boy to notice this one,” wrote Sue Pfeffer of her son, Robbie. The lad couldn’t help but remark how the name of a company made the parking directions stand out (see photo).

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SOUTHERN CALIFORNIANS ON THE ROAD: While traveling through Oregon, Georgia Kramer of West Covina spotted a warning to truck drivers that struck her as eminently sensible (see accompanying).

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IS THERE A VEGETARIAN SPECIAL? Larry Pabis of Upland found a menu item that he suspects was supposed to say “Hunan” beef (see accompanying).

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DUMB COMPUTER TRICKS: OK, I’ve heard from readers who received cards addressed to “Nobody” or “Unknown.” That inspired other readers to share addresses where their names had been reduced to numbers. But at least they were fairly large numbers. My colleague Myrna Oliver got one that was addressed to “Ms. Myrna 0.00.”

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L.A. INSULT OF THE WEEK: On a book tour, columnist Dave Barry said that “several TV makeup persons told me that the big trend in California--half the population of L.A. has had this procedure done--is to have a plastic surgeon INJECT BOTULISM TOXIN INTO YOUR FOREHEAD.”

The procedure is supposed to paralyze facial muscles and keep you from wrinkling but, Barry points out, “it also limits you to the same range of facial expressions as a lizard; this is why, more and more, you will notice that TV and movie personalities are indicating their emotional state by waving their entire heads around, or darting out their tongues, as if to catch passing insects.”

Maybe they can snare a few killer bees while they’re at it.

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MILLIONAIRES HAVE FEELINGS TOO: Mike Eberts came upon a revealing passage from Times sportswriter Frank Finch after Dodger pitcher Sandy Koufax threw a no-hitter in 1963. Finch wrote that it was the custom of owner Walter O’Malley “to tear up a no-hit pitcher’s contract and give him a new one calling for a $500 raise. That bonus will keep Sandy in alpaca sweaters until at least the Christmas holidays.”

Which prompts Eberts to comment that if Kevin Brown, the Dodgers’ new $105-million pitcher, “throws a no-hitter, maybe the current management will forget the alpaca sweater money and just buy him Peru.”

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PRE-FAME: A company called Yearbook Archives of Merrick, N.Y., wrote to Beverly Hills High and offered to buy the following editions picturing students who later hit the big time: 1941 (with director Blake Edwards) for $125, 1960 (cable mogul Barry Diller) for $225, 1976 (singer Shaun Cassidy) for $100, 1980 (with actress Gina Gershon) for $150, and 1986 (with actor Pauly Shore) for $100. The school is considering the offer. Incidentally, rumor has it that a video of the schools’s spring musical, “The Music Man,” of a few years ago sold for $3,000. There was apparently some interest in a member of the chorus: Monica Lewinsky.

miscelLAny:

Noni Goodwill of Rancho Palos Verdes saw this sign on a gym in Torrance: “Merry Fitness, Happy New Rear.”