Pity the Column He’ll Write If the Vikings Lose

At 14-1, the Minnesota Vikings have the best record in the NFL. They’re most likely bound for the Super Bowl--and some area writers are getting carried away.

Bob Sansevere of the St. Paul Pioneer Press is on the bandwagon, writing: “The Vikings just don’t beat teams, they vaporize them. To paraphrase the gold chain-laden 1980s philosopher, Mr. T, ‘I pity the team that plays the Vikings.’

“Earlier this season, the question was whether this Vikings’ team was the best in franchise history. We’re long past that.

“Now the question is this: Could the Vikings be the NFL’s best team ever?”

Can’t you wait a bit?

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Trivia time: The Arab, Atom, Bamboo, Chigger and Coconut were short-lived bowl games involving service teams. Where were they held?

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Bitter: Headline in the Denver Post after the Broncos’ second consecutive loss, Monday night in Miami to the Dolphins: “Hook, line & stinker.”

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Montana clone: New Orleans Saint Coach Mike Ditka, comparing Arizona Cardinal quarterback Jake Plummer to Joe Montana:

“He looks like Joe and he throws like Joe. And he moves around. And he’s just going to get better as time goes on.”

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Car woes: Tim Hardaway’s $60,000 burgundy 1991 Mercedes-Benz was torched--apparently by a Molotov cocktail--at an auto body shop in Coral Gables, Fla.

Not damaged in the fire was Alonzo Mourning’s Porsche Cabriolet and Mercedes-Benz, although somebody hit Mourning’s Mercedes with a rock.

More fallout from the lockout.

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Get it right: Major league baseball paid for a full-page ad in Sports Illustrated to thank Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa--the magazine’s sportsmen of the year--for their accomplishments.

Only one problem, according to Barry Horn of the Dallas Morning News: “The ad shows the right-handed Sosa swinging left-handed.

“Guess that is what they mean by the term ‘left-handed compliment.’ ”

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Looking back: On this day in 1971, Garo Yepremian’s 37-yard field goal at 7:40 of the second overtime gave the Miami Dolphins a 27-24 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs in the first round of the AFC playoffs.

At 82 minutes 40 seconds, it is the longest game in NFL history.

Also on Christmas Day in 1971, Dallas defeated Minnesota, 20-12, in an NFC playoff game in Minneapolis.

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Trivia answer: Oran, Africa; Nagasaki, Japan; Manila, Philippines; Dutch Guiana and New Guinea.

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And finally: Dallas Maverick forward Kurt Thomas told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram the lockout isn’t hurting him financially because even though he makes $1 million a year, “I live my life as if I only make $120,000.”