Cowher Can’t Kick About Not Kicking

A review of the AFC and NFC divisional playoff games, with a message to Pittsburgh Coach Bill Cowher: You’re wrong in saying you were wrong, even though everyone else thought you were wrong when you were right.

Cowher, always looking like a man ready to take on the world, spitting while talking and exhorting mere Steelers to play like Supermen, has driven his team to three AFC championship games in the last four years, despite being sacked by free agency.

That’s because he’s football’s most macho coach.

How dare anyone disappoint Cowher, as he jumps into their face yelling, “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

That John Wayne act loses something when one suggests that he yell, “Let’s go, little kicker.”

Fourth and goal on the Patriot one-yard line with three minutes to play, and maybe the coaching textbook says send out the little kicker because a field goal makes New England have to score a touchdown to come back and win. But Cowher remains true to his Steeler-like character, the tough-guy temperament that epitomizes the city of Pittsburgh, and to the players who have come to look upon him as their driving force.

What’s the big deal? If Pittsburgh is stopped, New England can answer only with Drew Bledsoe. We’re not exactly talking the risk of all risks here.

The Patriots did stop Kordell Stewart from diving into the end zone, and Cowher was wrong, but only for not having Stewart hand the ball to “the Bus,” Jerome Bettis and letting him score.

New England took over, and with a chance to define his career a la John Elway and “the drive” 11 years ago, Bledsoe remained Bledsoe, the standard by which all quarterbacks falling short of expectations will be judged.

As for Cowher, without being asked, he suddenly became politically correct. Why now? Taking chances has been business as usual for Cowher, who won his first game as coach of the Steelers after calling for a fake punt against a superior Houston team. Earlier this year, he went for it on fourth down from his own 34-yard line in a tie with Arizona.

But now he wants to apologize, because others coach not to lose, rather than to win?

“The first thing I told the players is: ‘I’m a young coach, and I messed up,’ ” said Cowher, 40. “I should have kicked the field goal. I really feel that way. I got caught up in the emotions of the game and I made a mistake.”

Holy Chuck Noll, the game doesn’t need another predictable coach. Getting caught up in the emotions of the game is everything that has been good, successful and appealing about Bill Cowher.

As soon as Stewart was stuffed, do you think an apology to his team was the first thing that crossed Cowher’s mind? Of course not. He was probably screaming, “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go! Bledsoe’s a stiff.”

You see, he was right all along.

A Kansas City Tradition

The headline in the Kansas City Star on Monday was one that seems to follow Marty Schottenheimer wherever he goes: “Incomplete.”

Schottenheimer, 5-11 in the playoffs and accused of becoming too tight during postseason play, did it again before Sunday’s game with Denver, making several players break their contracts and not do their regular radio shows so they could avoid distractions.

Listed as MIA

Before every defensive series, the scoreboard in Arrowhead Stadium replays a scene from “The X-Files,” which alludes to “Operation Falcon,” a tribute of sorts to linebacker Derrick Thomas, who is featured in the Chief defensive alignment known as Falcon.

No telling if Thomas watched the scoreboard. No telling if Thomas was at Sunday’s game, although official statistics credit him with a tackle.

“If you look at big games in the Chiefs’ history, you haven’t heard Derrick’s name called very often,” said commentator Kenyon Rasheed on KSHB-TV’s postgame report. “You need a big-time player to show up in big games. Derrick Thomas didn’t do that.”

Final Play

The Chiefs had no timeouts and were stuck at Denver’s 20-yard-line on fourth and two, and quarterback Elvis Grbac could not hear the calls from the sideline because of crowd noise.

“There was so much static,” said Grbac, talking about the audio system in his helmet designed to receive the calls from the sideline.

What about hand signals from the sideline? Oh well, there’s always training camp next summer.

Sunday, Grbac began calling his own plays.

“They were hurrying, they were scattered, they were rattled,” Denver linebacker Bill Romanowski said.

Former Chief tight end Jonathan Hayes, on the sideline for a postgame radio report, was standing directly behind Schottenheimer.

“He was yelling for a different play,” Hayes said. “It was like [mass confusion]. I haven’t seen that kind of mismanagement, especially from a Marty Schottenheimer-coached team, in a long time.”

Better Than Ever

The Packers lost Sean Jones because of retirement, Edgar Bennett because of an Achilles’ tendon injury and watched as Andre Rison and Wayne Simmons played important roles for the Chiefs.

Are any of them missed?

Of Rison and Simmons, known as much for being malcontents as talented athletes, Green Bay running back Dorsey Levens said, “They were great players for us when they were here, but we have to concentrate on the guys that give us 100% . . . that presently wear Green Bay uniforms.”

Almost forgot--didn’t Desmond Howard play for this team too?

Fooling Themselves

The 49ers figure they threw a chill into the Packers by unleashing Terry Kirby in their victory over Minnesota.

“We reestablished our running game,” 49er guard Kevin Gogan said. “It’s a serious threat to whoever comes in here. People were saying we didn’t have a running game without Garrison Hearst.”

And they don’t.

Kirby ran for 120 yards, but the Packers played the Vikings twice during the regular season and know how easy it is to run on the NFL’s 29th-ranked defense. There is still a chance Hearst will return after a broken collarbone, but how effective can he be after having sat out nearly two months?

Running Back Available

Marcus Allen has declined to say if he will retire, but the Chiefs made it clear once again that running back Greg Hill does not fit into their plans.

Hill, who becomes a free agent in February, opened the game by running for two yards and never touched the ball again. Allen ran a dozen times for 37 yards.

“I just don’t feel like talking,” Hill said afterward.

All the Way With Heath

It has been obvious all along, but the final four teams present conclusive evidence: The teams that win have the best quarterbacks.

You start the season with Heath Shuler, Rick Mirer or Dave Brown and you are saying, “We have no shot at making the Super Bowl.”

The NFL’s final four this season are quarterbacked by Elway, Steve Young and Brett Favre, arguably the game’s top three at this time, and Stewart, who has flashed brilliance.

The four losing quarterbacks last weekend were Grbac, Bledsoe, Randall Cunningham and Trent Dilfer.

How valuable does that make the first two picks in the draft and the chance to get Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf?

The End--Again

Glenn Parker, who lost four Super Bowls while playing for the Buffalo Bills, was two wins from playing in another as Kansas City’s starting offensive tackle.

After losing to Denver, Parker stood transfixed outside the Chief locker room, staring at a poster depicting Super Bowl rings from the first 25 games.

“I want to look at what I don’t have,” he said.