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He’ll Practice on Some Lions There Too

Mike Haynes, a 6-foot-4, 245-pound fullback from Northern Burlington High in Columbus, N.J., intends to sign a letter of intent with Penn State because he wants to be a veterinarian.

His high school coach, Charlie Pirrello, told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

“He felt they had the best to offer for a pre-vet school. Where Penn State is located, if he wants to see his pet cow, it will be right there on campus.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NHL goaltending record for shutouts?

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He’s sinking too: Adding one more expert who picked Green Bay in a blowout win over Denver in the Super Bowl, Bob Verdi of the Chicago Tribune:

“Denver has no chance. Go see ‘Titanic’ instead and root for the boat. It’s a better bet than the Broncos.”

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Mission impossible: New Jersey Net Coach John Calipari virtually concedes there is no way to stop Michael Jordan.

“You can’t do anything about Jordan,” he said. “You just have to hope the shots he puts up don’t go in. You have to mix things up to make it a little bit harder for him, but that’s about it.”

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Welcome home: This sign greeted Kentucky Coach Tubby Smith, a former Georgia assistant, when Kentucky traveled to Georgia for a game this season: “Famous Traitors in American History: Benedict Arnold, the Rosenbergs, My Prom Date, Orlando ‘Tubby’ Smith.”

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Go for it: According to Golf World magazine, David Duval has made more than $3.8 million on the PGA Tour in five years. Yet, he says:

“I’d like to have a house on the ocean, but I don’t know if I’ll ever afford it.”

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See a real estate agent now, David.

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What’s the record? Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “You never heard of a chap named George Haines, but in the 1968 U.S. Open, the New Jersey amateur hit seven spectators in eight holes.”

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Or 110%: The late Casey Stengel, in a rare serious moment, explained his philosophy of living:

“For every dollar paid me, in baseball or anything else, I have tried to give a dollar and 25 cents in performance. In other words, I might not win, but an all-out effort would be there.”

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Trivia answer: Terry Sawchuk, with 103 from 1949 to 1970. Sawchuk played one season for the Kings, 1967-68.

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And finally: Those pills left behind in the Chinese swimmers’ motel at the world championships in Perth, Australia, allegedly contained poison from a cane toad, the gallbladder of a musk and the gallstone of a cow.

Said Perth police Superintendent David Parkinson: “It sounds like the Addams family, doesn’t it?”


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