Rude Awakening as Poor Marv’s Nightmare Ends

A couple of days ago, P.J. Masten says, “I was in a department store [in New York] and I heard that Marv Albert had just been rehired by the Madison Square Garden broadcasting network.

“A cold sweat came over me.

“I started to feel dizzy. I thought I was going to pass out.

“I dropped my merchandise on the floor and looked for the nearest ladies room. And I absolutely threw up.

“Then I had to sit down on the floor, because I had an anxiety attack.”

Marv Albert has this effect on women.

Well, some women, certainly.

He definitely does on P.J. Masten. She’s the one who pulled the rug out from under Albert in his 1997 criminal case.

NBC fired him. So did MSG.

But after a year off the air, Albert has gotten his Garden gig back. He will do New York Knicks basketball games for MSG radio next season, as well as host a pregame show.

Of which Masten says:

“It isn’t a slap in the face to women. It’s a punch in the face.”

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Let’s recap, as the announcers say.

A woman named Vanessa Perhach accused a lover, Albert, last year of biting her more than 10 times and forcing her into a sexual act. She took him to court.

Albert’s signature line on radio and TV, after a home team’s basket, is “Yes!”

Perhach said she said, “No!”

NBC and MSG asked Albert about it. He allegedly told both networks that no such “no” ever happened.

So they stood behind him.

(Which is safer than being in front of him.)

In a Virginia courtroom, however, a surprise witness--P.J. Masten, a New Yorker--was called by the prosecution.

Under oath, she testified that Albert had also bitten her and had attempted to force her into a similar sex act. In the process, Masten said she all but pulled Albert’s wig off.

Oh, and at the time, Masten added, the gentleman in question was wearing a woman’s garter belt along with his, er, knickers.

Albert stopped the trial faster than a referee blowing a whistle.

He immediately entered a plea of no contest to a misdemeanor assault and battery of Perhach. He lost his jobs but did not go to jail.

Where he did go was “on national television denying Masten’s allegations and attacking her,” according to Masten’s attorney, Gloria Allred.

“Mr. Albert’s agenda has been obvious,” Allred continued in her L.A. office Friday, with Masten at her side.

“He was trying to restore his reputation, with the hope that one day he would be able to resume his broadcasting career. His economic motive was clear. He tried to rebuild his own image by attacking and destroying the reputation of others.

“This week, he achieved the first step of his plan.”

While making Masten feel ill.

Next thing she knew, Albert was holding a news conference, at which he apologized to his family, to his friends and to his fiancee.

He also mentioned that the whole experience was “a nightmare.”

A nightmare for P.J.? For Vanessa?

No, for him: Marv.

Poor guy. Really went through hell.

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Floored as she was--literally--Masten could see this one coming.

“It’s still a good old boy’s network, isn’t it?” she says.

“What message does this send to the youth today? It’s OK to be violent toward a woman, do a little therapy and resume your million-dollar career?”

So far, NBC hasn’t taken Albert back.

David Letterman jokes that Marv’s return is conditional upon his wearing an electronic surveillance hairpiece.

As for MSG’s and the Knicks’ president, Dave Checketts, he says he still considers Marv a part of the family. It makes you wonder what the president of the NBA’s Washington Wizards franchise would say, had it been that team’s broadcaster who attacked women and lied to his employers about it. Washington’s president is a woman.

Allred wonders too.

She says, “Since injury to women seems not to be a consideration by Madison Square Garden officials, then I have to ask, what’s next? Are they going to offer O.J. Simpson a job as a sportscaster at Madison Square Garden as well?”

Could be.

Maybe for the next Mike Tyson fight.

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Mike Downey’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write to him at Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles 90053, or phone (213) 237-7366.