Taxpayers’ Names a Mystery to IRS

Torrance accountant Rene Diaz, representing a couple in an audit, received a letter from the IRS that referred to the clients as “Mr. and Mrs. Income Tax Return.” (see accompanying). Ah, that personal touch!

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DODGER BLUES: Bill Kinman of Alhambra caught this account of a Bay Area drama in Scott Ostler’s column in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Six cops and a police dog searched [a] train for 30 minutes, looking for a suspected criminal described as a guy wearing a Dodger cap. So now you know: Wear a Dodger cap, go to jail.”

Certainly you don’t go to the World Series.

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ROGER? OVER AND OUT: Mention was made here of the rumor that animators slipped a men’s room scene into “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” that shows the graffito, “For a Good Time Call Allyson Wonderland,” accompanied by the home phone number of Disney boss Michael Eisner.

In his new book, “Reel Gags,” Bill Givens says that if the phone number ever was on film it has been removed from the now-available versions.

The “Allyson Wonderland” portion does appear. It honors a receptionist named Allyson on the crew who had lamented that she wouldn’t receive a film credit. Jane Baer, the coordinating animator on the movie, says that Allyson was told “not to worry, that a credit would somehow be worked in. . . .

“It was suggested that Eisner’s phone number be used,” Baer continued. “However, this was quickly vetoed. Instead, they put in ‘Allyson Wonderland. . . . The best is yet to be.’ That was a saying that Allyson had pinned above her desk. As this scene zips by, the saying could easily be mistaken for a phone number.”

Allyson’s last name, I am reliably informed, was not Wonderland.

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HUH? FOR HOLLYWOOD: Al Hix of Hollywood sent along a shot of a marquee he snapped in a local hotel (see photo). It’s written in a strange code that I am unable to translate. I can’t even say for sure whether it contains Eisner’s phone number.

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AND MY FACE IS RED: I wrote that Kem Nunn’s novel “Dogs of War” refers to Pomona as “the land of the power blue tuxedo.” That should have been “powder blue,” of course, though I’m not sure that description is going to wear well with Pomona fans, either.

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UNDECLARED INCOME: The case of the hospital employee convicted of stealing an operating table from County-USC Medical Center belongs in the Hall of Fame of weird misdeeds. I asked the folks at the L.A. County district attorney’s office about other not-so-cunning bad guys and was told this story:

Police see a man climbing out of the window of a house, carrying stereo equipment in a pillowcase. He drops the loot and runs. The cops give chase. The suspect runs into a house occupied by a woman with her hair in curlers. The suspect runs out the back door. The woman with curlers joins police in the chase. In the backyard, a man is gardening. The suspect runs by him. The gardener joins the cops and the woman with curlers in the chase.

The suspect is soon captured by the posse. He pleads not guilty but is convicted. One piece of damaging evidence: the stereo remote control found in his back pocket.

miscelLAny:

“Cheating possible, even probable!” says the press release for the San Pedro Rubber Duck Grand Prix Sunday at Averill Park (information: [310] 547-0176). Since rubber ducks “are, by nature, awkward racers,” the charitable event’s organizers say, “just about any means to move them along will be acceptable.” Heck, if you think it will help, wear a power blue tuxedo.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.