Game Day

1. Question: How are things going in Philadelphia?

Answer: Not well. After Denver backup quarterback Bubby Brister threw for four touchdowns against the Eagles, someone jokingly suggested to Bronco tight end Shannon Sharpe that Brister might be an NFL most-valuable-player candidate.

“No, no, no,” Sharpe said. “Hey, I told him I could have thrown three myself against that team. It wasn’t like we were playing the ’85 Bears or something.”

Ouch.

2. Q: After ranking No. 1 a year ago, but folding down the stretch, how is the 49ers’ defense doing?

A: Not well. The 49ers rank last in the league.

“My dog won’t even come around me anymore,” defensive coordinator John Marshall said. “Someone told her we’re 30th in the league and she won’t even come around me.”

3. Q: How did former Louisiana Gov. Edwin Edwards react to former 49er owner Eddie DeBartolo’s decision to become a cooperating witness against him?

A: Not well. By coincidence, the 49ers play in New Orleans today, and after pleading guilty this week to concealing information regarding a gambling license for a riverboat--a caper that could send Edwards to jail--Edwards said, “I hope the 49ers lose on Sunday.”

4. Q: Speaking of New Orleans, how goes Coach Mike Ditka’s attempt to reform and be a nice guy?

A: Not well. Ditka says he fines himself--reportedly $50 a no-no--for cursing and has done so only three times this year. You believe that? Hell, no. He cussed during a conference call with Bay Area reporters this week.

5. Q: How did Jamie Brown do replacing Dave Fiore as 49ers’ left offensive tackle?

A: Not well. Buffalo defensive end Bruce Smith earned AFC defensive-player-of-the-week honors for treating Brown like a department store revolving door and piling up eight quarterback pressures and a sack.