Then the Groom Said, ‘Oh Brother’

When L.A. architect Jason Haim married publicist Amy Goldsmith in Palm Springs, the best man wore a lapel button that said, “I Am Not the Groom.” Why the precaution? Well, the best man was Ethan Haim, Jason’s brother. And, oh yes, the brothers are identical twins.

*

WONDER IF HE WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED? In Palos Verdes Estates, a colleague observed a late-model Cadillac with a license plate frame that read, “Alumni ‘78, Central Juvenile Hall.”

*

ALCATRAZ SOUTH? Prospective visitors to Santa Catalina Island don’t always seem aware that it’s 26 miles off the coast of Southern California. Or that it’s part of L.A. County. Here are some unusual comments and questions from callers to the Catalina Island Visitors Bureau:

* “Do you have applications for employment in Mammoth?”

* “Do you have a boat going to Laughlin?”

* “Are you also in charge of Alcatraz?”

* “Do you have hotels for Santa Barbara?”

* “I would like to take the bus to Universal Studios.”

* “Can you tell me about horseback riding in Hollywood?”

* “How many miles are you from Hawaii?”

* “Is this where you get the boats to go back over to California?”

*

SCENIC WONDERS: Gary Brasher of Castaic noticed a property with a possibly X-rated feature, George Rodriguez of Pico Rivera found a jewelry shop that seems to trust its customers, and Ray Ceniceroz of Arcadia came upon an eatery that will keep your hamburger bun full (see accompanying).

*

SPEAKING OF CATHOUSES: A while back, I mentioned one of sports’ most offbeat shrines, the Monrovia-based Baseball Reliquary. The whimsical traveling museum, which recently had an exhibit at Cal State L.A., has collected such treasures as a cigar that Babe Ruth allegedly left behind in a brothel in Philadelphia.

Anyway, I’ve since received a ballot to take part in its Hall of Fame voting. Needless to say, the nominees are a bit unusual.

I’m voting for a turn-of-the-century pitcher named Rube Waddell, but not because he won 191 games in the big leagues, or because he pitched for a minor league team here in Venice (yes, Venice once had a team).

No, I admire Waddell because he was responsible for a unique clause in the contract of his roommate, Ossee Schreckengost of the Philadelphia A’s.

Back then, players didn’t expect anything as grandiose as free airline travel for their families, a la the Dodgers’ Kevin Brown. No, what Schreckengost wanted pertained to the sleeping arrangements on the road (players shared bunks in those days). Schreckengost had the club prohibit Waddell from eating crackers in bed.

*

WE’RE NO. 1! Travel writer Norm Sklarewitz of West Hollywood points out that Los Angeles International Airport may house the world’s biggest parking lot, with about 21,000 spaces.

And that doesn’t even include the barely moving cars stuck in traffic there.

*

GUESS EVERYONE IS SUFFERING AT THE PUMPS: Spotted in Long Beach--the driver of a white stretch limo hauling a load of clothing into a $1 Quality Cleaners.

miscelLAny:

A carjacking of a BMW was foiled by L.A. County sheriff’s deputies the other day when the suspects found themselves unable to operate the luxury car’s five-speed stick shift. Apparently they didn’t have time to consult the owner’s manual.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.