PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Apparently, one whipping wasn’t enough. Like a masochist with an insatiable taste for the lash, Dave Desmond has come back for more after being throttled in week seven. I doubt even his wife knows he’s into S&M; (Swami Maulings). She thinks the studded collar Dave bought was for their bulldog, Schnookie. Poor woman. Poor Schnookie. Our sympathies also go out to last week’s challenger, Danny Schumacher, who lost so badly he fell off the wagon and is dipping tobacco again. But the beatings are about to end. After 100 Arabian nights, the football season is drawing to a close this weekend with section championship games. Your Swami has already clinched the points title and is looking forward to a long vacation in the Sahara. Hope you enjoyed the fun.

The Prophet

Season totals for The Prophet: 134 of 190 (71%), 225 points

Dave Desmond

Season totals for the guests: 123 of 190 (65%), 199 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Hart vs. Valencia at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: I’ve ridden Valencia’s coattails through the playoffs, including a stunning upset over Notre Dame two weeks ago that turned Eric Sondheimer into a mumbling basket case. But I’m jumping off the Viking bandwagon. Why? Because Hart is too damn good. Hart, 32-21.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Westlake vs. San Luis Obispo at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo

THE PROPHET SAYS: A long bus ride and playing in a hostile environment will test Westlake, but the Warriors came through under the same conditions last week at Arroyo Grande. I’m betting they’ll come through again. Westlake, 28-14.

St. Bonaventure vs. Nordhoff at Ventura High

THE PROPHET SAYS: St. Bonaventure will win the Division XI title and finish 14-0, a great achievement for a great team. But it’s too bad we’ll never know how the Seraphs would have measured up against better competition. St. Bonaventure, 35-10.

Paraclete vs. Kilpatrick at Antelope Valley College

THE PROPHET SAYS: Each team features an impressive running back--state rushing leader Jermaine Marshall of Kilpatrick and super sophomore Curtis Brown of Paraclete. Unfortunately for Marshall, Brown has a better supporting cast. Paraclete, 38-28.

THE REST (1 point each)

* Carson vs. Crenshaw at the Coliseum: The Prophet: Crenshaw beat a tough San Pedro team by 21 points last week. That’s good enough for me. Crenshaw, 30-21. Desmond: Crenshaw, 26-23.

* Banning vs. Gardena at the Coliseum: The Prophet: Banning enters the City Invitational final after defeating Reseda in a semifinal that ended with hard feelings. I don’t know which was worse, Coach Ed Lalau of Banning calling for an on-side kick with a 20-point lead or Coach Joel Schaeffer of Reseda not allowing his players to shake hands after the game. Banning, 35-24. Desmond: Banning, 35-28.

* Long Beach Poly vs. Mater Dei at Edison Field: The Prophet: The Division I final is delayed after the guy who runs around with the oversized Mater Dei flag trips and harpoons himself. The Jackrabbits do their slashing on the field. Long Beach Poly, 28-21. Desmond: Mater Dei, 35-18.

* Diamond Bar vs. Upland at Cal State Fullerton: The Prophet: Upland defeated previously unbeaten Peninsula last week, a good sign it’s going to win the Division II title. Upland, 24-14. Desmond: Diamond Bar, 17-13.

* Rancho Cucamonga vs. Paloma Valley at Chaffey College: The Prophet: Paloma Valley is located in the city of Menifee, wherever the heck that is. Winning the Division V title will put the place on the map. Paloma Valley, 17-10. Desmond: Rancho Cucamonga, 35-31.

* Irvine vs. Newport Harbor at Orange Coast College: The Prophet: Newport Harbor beat Irvine, 12-10, earlier this season and is ranked No. 2 in Orange County behind Mater Dei. Newport Harbor, 21-14. Desmond: Irvine, 27-10.

* Charter Oak vs. Los Altos at Mt. San Antonio College: The Prophet: Charter Oak has won its three Division VII playoff games by an average score of 36-11 and has already beaten Los Altos. Charter Oak, 36-11. Desmond: Los Altos, 24-14.

* Bloomington at Barstow: The Prophet: The bloom is off Bloomington’s double wing-T. It’s a desert party in the Division VIII final. Barstow, 13-6. Desmond: Bloomington, 47-27.

* Bonita vs. Brea Olinda at Mt. San Antonio College: The Prophet: Brea Olinda has one of the top girls’ basketball programs in the state. Some of that success has to rub off on the football team. Brea Olinda, 34-27. Desmond: Bonita, 21-20.

* Monrovia vs. Paso Robles at Citrus College: The Prophet: Paso Robles routed Division IV semifinalist Newbury Park early in the season. Winning the Division X title will be tougher, but we like the Bearcats. Paso Robles, 27-24. Desmond: Monrovia, 34-21.

* Pasadena Poly vs. Arrowhead Christian at South Pasadena High: The Prophet: Pasadena Poly will restore the Prep League’s honor after champion Brentwood lost to Arrowhead Christian in a Division XIII semifinal. Pasadena Poly, 26-21. Desmond: Pasadena Poly, 48-17.