LAST CALL

It might have been naive to think that three guys could sit down in a Long Beach coffee shop and settle the great Los Angeles sporting debates of the 1900s.

Well, we did it.

What we had going: the three of us were raised here, two with birth certificates dating to the “Ike” era.

Qualifications? All of us wore L.A. Ram booties in our cribs, were lullabied by Vin Scully’s poetry and were swept into writing by Jim Murray’s prose.

We survived the World Football League, the Los Angeles Express, playoff losses to the Boston Celtics and Minnesota Vikings, “Superfan,” two George Allen firings and Georgia Frontiere.

Los Angeles is pilloried as a sports town, but it’s a bad rap, the outsider’s lament.

We are a discriminating sports town.

Forgive us because:

* We do not riot after winning titles.

* Did not invent the wave.

* Do not kowtow.

When Frontiere and Al Davis threatened to take their respective pro football franchise elsewhere, we all but gassed up the buses.

Bad sportsmanship?

Perhaps.

But as the NFL learned, we don’t pony up public funds to finance pet stadium projects for billionaires. That’s why God made Jacksonville.

In sum, any owner or league not smart enough to see the wisdom of setting up shop here does not belong here.

If leaving a Dodger game in the seventh inning to beat traffic is a crime, fine, book us under the “three strikes law.”

But, seriously, have you seen the Dodgers lately?

Yes, this has been a tough decade for our pro franchises, a bad way to exit the 1900s, but it’s also possible we bagged our limit with eight banners in the 1980s: Lakers, five; Dodgers, two, and Raiders, one.

As for this best-of screed, we hashed out the details over hash browns, argued our points, and settled the bill.

The final calls were mine.

Have a beef?

Go tell it to Zev Yaroslavsky.

Most important athlete (male): We settled on Jackie Robinson before the iced teas hit the table. Raised in Pasadena and a four-sport star at UCLA, he’s arguably the most significant American sporting figure of the century.

Most important athlete (female): Again, a no-brainer: Billie Jean King. Born in Long Beach, she was the Robinson of her sport. King was one of four athletes listed in a 1990 Life magazine survey of the century’s 100 most influential figures. The others were Robinson, Muhammad Ali and Babe Ruth. Pretty good company.

Most revered figure: John Wooden, UCLA basketball. Dare to argue this?

Most important media figure: Jim Murray. Pick a favorite line. We decided on “Gentlemen, start your coffins.”

Six people we’d chisel on an L.A. sports Mount Rushmore: Murray, Scully, Chick Hearn, Walter O’Malley, King, Robinson.

Best nicknames: “Magic” Johnson, Dick “the Scooter” Bass, Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch, David “Deacon” Jones, Dick “Night Train” Lane, “Mr. Clutch” (Jerry West), “the Dutchman” (Norm Van Brocklin), Harold “Happy” Hairston, Clyde “Skeeter” Wright, Jack “Hacksaw” Reynolds, Fearsome Foursome, Willie “Flipper” Anderson.

Worst owner: Bill Oldenburg, Los Angeles Express. This clown once threw a plate of food at John Hadl, tried to pick a fistfight with Steve Young and uttered the incredible line, “Donald Trump can’t carry my socks.”

Worst franchise: L.A. Clippers.

Best Clipper team: 1974-75 Buffalo Braves (49-33).

Owner who has had the hardest time: Donald Sterling (Clippers).

Owner who has done the hardest time: Bruce McNall (Kings).

Most embarrassing moment: Al Campanis on “Nightline.”

Saddest day: Magic Johnson retires because of HIV.

Most electrifying night: Tie between Kirk Gibson’s homer and “Roy Campanella Night” at the Coliseum.

Best uniform number: 32 (Sandy Koufax, Magic Johnson, Marcus Allen and O.J. Simpson).

Worst quotes:

1. Darryl Strawberry: “Let it burn.”

2. Eric Dickerson: “Let Coach run 47-Gap.”

3. Al Campanis, on African Americans: “ . . . they may not have some of the necessities.”

4. Buzzie Bavasi, on Nolan Ryan: “I’ll get two 8-7 pitchers.”

Best trade: Kings get Wayne Gretzky.

Best L.A. Ram not in hall of fame: Jack Youngblood.

Worst radio-TV lead-in question: Paul Olden, to Tom Lasorda: “What did you think of 1/8Dave 3/8 Kingman’s performance?”

Best play in L.A. Ram history: Van Brocklin’s 73-yard pass to Tom Fears secures 24-17 victory in 1951 NFL title game.

Best athlete you didn’t know was raised in L.A.: Walter Johnson, Fullerton.

Best fan: Giles Pellerin. Attended 797 consecutive USC football games before his death, at 91, in 1998.

Fan with conviction: Claude Dawson Jones. He robbed banks to fund trips to L.A. Raider games.

THE DEBATES

POWER BROKER

Jack Kent Cooke, Peter Ueberroth, Dan Reeves or Walter O’Malley?

* Argument: Cooke brought hockey to L.A., built the Forum and was the trigger man behind the 1979 signing of Magic Johnson (Some in the Laker brass, good grief, wanted Sidney Moncrief).

Ueberroth did the impossible in bringing a seamless, smogless, trafficless and profitable 1984 Olympics to Los Angeles.

Reeves opened the West Coast to professional sports in the 1940s when he moved the Cleveland Rams to L.A.

O’Malley relocated the Dodgers from Brooklyn in 1958, brokered a sweetheart land deal at Chavez Ravine and brought 40 years of civility, class and stability.

* Winner: O’Malley.

MANAGER

Walter Alston or Tom Lasorda?

* Argument: Alston was a quiet but stern manager whose Dodgers won three World Series titles from 1958 through 1965; Lasorda was Dodger-blue boisterous and a winner of four pennants and two World Series titles.

* Winner: Rod Dedeaux. The legendary USC baseball coach’s .699 winning percentage and 11 national titles from 1942 to 1986 are not likely to be matched.

DODGERS

1962 or 1963?

* Argument: The boys of ’62 didn’t even win the pennant, losing to the Giants in a playoff, but we say the ’62 team was better than the ’63 incarnation, generally considered the best of the L.A. era.

The 1962 team won more games (102 to 99), had a higher team batting average (.268 to .251). scored more runs and hit more homers. It was the better of Tommy Davis’ league-leading batting campaigns, .346 to .326., and the year Maury Wills stole 104 bases.

A midsummer finger injury to Koufax denied the 1962 team the pennant and its place as the best in L.A. history.

PITCHER

Koufax or Nolan Ryan?

* Argument: We considered only the time each spent in the Southland. Koufax pitched nine years in Los Angeles; Ryan eight in Anaheim. Koufax averaged 17.33 wins a season to Ryan’s 17.25. Koufax had a slightly lower ERA, 2.87 to Ryan’s 3.11, but Koufax pitched on a higher mound and Ryan faced a designated hitter in seven of his eight seasons. In one fewer year in L.A., Ryan had more strikeouts (2,416 to 2,220), shutouts (40 to 38) and complete games (156 to 133). Each pitched four no-hitters.

Koufax had a superior winning percentage, but played for superior teams. The Dodgers of Koufax’s L.A. reign were a collective 177 games over .500; Ryan’s Angels were 50 games under .500 from 1972 through ’79.

* Winner? Koufax, but it’s not a slam dunk, is it?

USC FOOTBALL

1972 or 1932?

* Argument: John McKay’s 1972 12-0 national championship squad (Sam Cunningham, Lynn Swann, Richard Wood) is considered by many the best in college football history.

Howard Jones’ 1932 team, known as “the Thundering Herd,” gave up 13 points all season, seven to California and six to Washington, shutting out eight opponents en route to the national title.

* Winner: We went with hard hats over leather helmets.

USC II

Howard Jones or John McKay?

* Argument: Jones (1925-40) put USC on the national map, never lost in the Rose Bowl and won three national titles. McKay (1960-75) won four national titles, transformed USC into Tailback U with his I-formation offense and never met a quip he didn’t like.

* Winner: McKay.

TAILBACK

Simpson, Allen or Dickerson?

* Argument: Simpson was the purest runner, but only played two years at USC. Dickerson broke Simpson’s NFL single-season rushing record but he left L.A. football in ruins.

Allen was a superstar in L.A. as a collegian and professional.

* Winner: Allen.

CENTER

Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or Shaquille O’Neal?

* Argument: Chamberlain was past his prime when he came to the Lakers, but tailored his skills to become a team player. Abdul-Jabbar went through the motions before Magic arrived in 1979, but won five rings and delivered a surprisingly good performance in “Airplane.”

O’Neal is a work in progress; scary-strong but yet to deliver the goods.

* Winner: Abdul-Jabbar.

BOXING

Jim Jeffries, Henry Armstrong, or Oscar De La Hoya?

* Argument: Jeffries grew up in Arroyo Seco and remains the Southland’s only heavyweight champion, reigning from 1899-1904.

Armstrong held three titles simultaneously as a featherweight, lightweight and welterweight in his prime, and once defended his welterweight title five times in one month.

De La Hoya is an Olympic gold-medal winner and has won more titles than any L.A. fighter. Of course, in today’s fractious sport, there are more belts to be won.

* Winner: Armstrong.

ANNOUNCER

Chick Hearn or Vin Scully?

* Argument: Some say this is comparing a hot dog to caviar. We say baloney. These L.A. icons deserve to stand shoulder to shoulder in the pantheon, a notch above King announcer Bob Miller and Dick Enberg, a onetime Southland jack-of-all microphones (Rams, Angels, UCLA basketball).

The pace of their respective sports has allowed Scully to age more gracefully than Hearn, but Chick should never be confused with Harry Caray.

Hearn has lost a step only because he set the bar so high with his frenetic, hippity-hop style, a voice that changed the lexicon of the sport--slam dunk, popcorn machine, the refrigerator--he is a constant verbal stream of adrenaline.

Scully could draw 10,000 to City Hall for a recitation of the phone book. As a silky-smooth salesman, Vinny has been more important to Farmer John than pigs.

Before television, Hearn and Scully painted vivid mental pictures for their audiences, Hearn using violent brush strokes, Scully gently massaging the canvas.

More important, neither has been a house man for his team.

It is difficult to imagine L.A. sports without either.

WORST TRADE

Dickerson or Pedro Martinez?

* Argument: The Rams received six top draft choices in the nightmarish Halloween trade of 1987, but whiffed with a chance to mold a powerful franchise.

Martinez for Delino DeShields looked tolerable at the time in 1993, everyday second baseman for unpredictable right-hander, but we know better now.

Imagine, in 1960, the Dodgers trading Koufax for a player to be named.

* Winner: Dickerson.

OK, the Martinez deal gets worse by the minute, but the Dickerson trade precipitated a franchise’s decline and arguably gave the Rams the excuse to move to St. Louis.

TENNIS

Pete Sampras or Jack Kramer?

* Argument: Sampras is the best player in the world, maybe ever, and grew up in Palos Verdes.

Kramer, who played at Montebello High, won 10 major titles in singles, doubles and mixed, was master of the big game, started the pro tour, devised the Grand Prix for the men’s game and was instrumental in forming the men’s players’ union.

* Winner: Kramer anyone?

LAKERS

1972 or 1987?

* Argument: The 1971-72 squad finished with a 69-13 record and won a record 33 consecutive games. Guards Jerry West and Gail Goodrich combined to average nearly 52 points a game, and center Wilt Chamberlain made 64.9% of his shots and led the league in rebounding with a 19.2 average. All five starters averaged double figures.

The 1986-87 Lakers were the best of the Magic-Kareem era, going 65-17 and 15-3 in the playoffs en route to the title. Kareem was aging, but Magic, James Worthy, Byron Scott, A.C. Green and Michael Cooper were in their primes.

* Winner: Hmm, Wilt versus Kareem, Magic against West, Worthy against Jim McMillian.

Magic’s team wins in seven.

QUARTERBACK

Bob Waterfield, Van Brocklin, Roman Gabriel, Troy Aikman, Steve Young or Jim Plunkett?

* Argument: Plunkett won the city’s only Super Bowl, but his Raiders were interlopers. Aikman spent his early years in West Covina, moved to Oklahoma, then returned to star at UCLA, but won his three Super Bowl rings for the Dallas Cowboys. Gabriel was a giant in the pocket for the Rams in the 1960s, but never won a title.

Van Brocklin’s game-winning pass to Fears in 1951 nailed down the Rams’ only title in Los Angeles and the Dutchman also set an NFL record with 554 yards passing against the New York Yanks.

Young of the USFL’s Express became the first player in pro football history to pass for 300 yards and run for 100 in a game, but he played less than two years here before the league folded.

* Winner? Waterfield.

He was L.A.’s first superstar as quarterback for UCLA and the Rams, an icon, married to Jane Russell and a remarkable athlete. Waterfield grew up in Van Nuys, became the first UCLA quarterback to beat USC, helped lead the Rams to their only NFL title, kicked field goals and averaged 42 yards as a punter.

UCLA BASKETBALL

1968 or 1973?

* Argument: OK, before he became Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Lew Alcindor’s ’67 team (30-0) might have been better than the 1968 squad that finished 29-1 and lost to Houston. But we’ll take Dean Smith’s word on this. After losing to Alcindor & Co. by 23 in the 1968 title game, the famed North Carolina coach said, “UCLA has got to be the greatest basketball team ever assembled. They are even better this year than last.”

Better than 1973 Bruins? The Bill Walton-led squad ravaged the hoops landscape, ending a 30-0 season with the school’s 75th consecutive victory, a 19-point win over Memphis State in which Walton made 21 of 22 shots.

* Winner: Walton & Co.

The 1968 team might have had a better starting five--Alcindor, Mike Warren, Lucius Allen, Lynn Shackelford and Kenny Heitz, but the ’73 team was nine players deep.

Wooden once said of his ’73 squad, “I’ve never had a greater team.”

MANIA

Fernando or Hideo

* Argument: No argument.

* Winner: Fernandomania.

He turned L.A. loco--and won a World Series title.

*

COMING WEDNESDAY

A 34-page special section details the best of sports from 1900-1999 and a survey of prominent Angelenos identifies the top athletes.