A High Price for a Championship

By the time you read this, this town’s last family-run sports team is expected to have a new face.

It has two rings in its nose.

It uses obscenities as if they were prepositions.

It speaks of sexual activities as if talking about taking out the garbage.

It trashes new teammates even before meeting them.

It insults critics, then weeps when those insults are returned.

All of this during a span of only 20 painfully public minutes Monday, when self-made bad boy Dennis Rodman announced he will be signing with the Lakers.

Any guess about the next four months?

In what might have been the most unusual press conference since Adam revealed his involvement with an apple, Rodman broke the news at, appropriately, Planet Hollywood.

The man is truly from a different planet.

And this was as much about Hollywood as basketball.

Reporters entered not through a turnstile but a velvet rope. There wasn’t a ticket taker, there was a bouncer.

The room used for the announcement was decorated not in “Forum blue” and gold, but leopard and zebra.

As at most such occasions, two radio guys sat in the front row. But these guys were wearing dresses.

Nearly 35 minutes late, Rodman emerged from behind a door marked “Private,” accompanied by two bouncers and a woman who appeared to be trapped in a rapidly shrinking silver dress.

Only after he later described their bedroom activities could it be confirmed that this uncomfortable woman was his wife, former “Baywatch” actress Carmen Electra.

Even though Rodman said he would be signing with the Lakers Monday night and would play his first game as a Laker later this week, there was not one Laker employee in attendance.

There were no basketball officials of any sort.

There were, however, two representatives from the local women’s professional team known as the Sparks.

“You never know,” one said beforehand. “Maybe he’s going to announce he’s signing with us.”

*

For all the high-flying exploits of perhaps the most beloved sports team in this town’s history, Showtime was always grounded in dignity.

Those Lakers flew, but they also walked. They were stars, but they were also neighbors. They were not just champions, but friends.

The Lakers who won five world championships during the 1980s were memorable not just for their ability, but for their class.

We loved owner Jerry Buss’ commitment to winning, partly because it was a commitment with boundaries.

Eleven years after that last title, those boundaries are suddenly being tested.

Will the Lakers, needing toughness and rebounding to become a championship contender, be a better team with Dennis Rodman? Absolutely.

He has won seven consecutive rebounding titles, and plays the sort of tattoo-rubbing defense that causes opponents to jump out of their skin.

But will Rodman be worth all the trouble he will cause? There was a time when Buss built his team strictly on the advice of his wise and credible lieutenant, Jerry West.

West voted against Rodman. Virtually everyone in the front office who has helped take this team to the verge of greatness voted against Rodman.

Realizing they were just one more smart acquisition from having a club that could compete for many championships, they voted against taking a shortcut with a 37-year-old guy who once took off his shoes and ignored his coach during a playoff game. . . .

A guy who has left the bench during games, making the coach send a trainer to find him. . . .

A guy who has missed practices to party in Las Vegas. . . .

A guy who has kicked a cameraman in the crotch, head-butted a referee and publicly insulted the entire Mormon church.

With teams that had strong veteran leadership--the Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls--Rodman collected five championship rings.

With a team that had young and impressionable leaders--the San Antonio Spurs--Rodman helped cause a meltdown.

Guess which of those teams the growing Lakers most resemble.

Hint: Break out the fireproof suits.

Sure, Disney bought the Angels from sweet old Jackie Autry. But it didn’t install Mickey Mouse at shortstop.

Certainly, Fox cashed out the Dodgers from longtime friend Peter O’Malley. But it didn’t make David Duchovny manager.

This is not about how Rodman dresses, which was no different Monday from many people walking outside on the Beverly Hills streets:

Checked pants with a black stripe. Orange shoes with stars. Tattoos and rings over virtually every visible piece of skin. A floppy hat the approximate size of his waiting limousine.

The problems Monday were not about how the new face of the Lakers looked, but what happened once he opened his mouth.

He told reporters he didn’t want to make a spectacle of himself, but smiled and added, “I must be very important for you guys to be here.”

He said he wanted to help the Lakers win a championship, but added, “What I really want to do is give the people what they want. . . . I’m not playing for anybody but the people.”

When two reporters questioned his selfish motives in holding his own press conference after waiting two weeks to sign a deal that was not going to change, no matter how long he waited, because of NBA rules, he began weeping.

“I’m never gonna win with you guys,” he said, sobbing behind mirrored sunglasses. “No matter what I do in this league, I’m never gonna win.”

He then held up a list of charities to which he said he is donating a total of $100,000.

“If this is selfish, we have a problem,” he said.

Moments later, he got up and walked off.

Thirty minutes later, in a parking lot below, more than 100 fans surrounded Rodman’s empty limousine.

“The antics are the price we’re going to pay,” said Michael Poret, a stockbroker who works in the building. “But if we get our championship, that will make up for it.”

The crowd surged. A security guard screamed at a woman. An excited postal worker with a push-cart spilled her mail. Two photographers exchanged nasty words. Everyone smiled. Anything for a championship.

More on Dennis Rodman is available on The Times’ Web site. For video excerpts and photos from Monday’s press conference, a photo gallery of his biggest newsmaking moments, a readers poll and discussion, go to: https://www.latimes.com/rodman

Bill Plaschke can be reached at his e-mail address: bill.plaschke@latimes.com

* A PRICE TO PAY: At a bizarre news conference Monday, Dennis Rodman said he’s ready to join the Lakers. D1

* IT WON’T WORK: With the team already in disarray, the last thing it needs is a distraction like Rodman. D1

* IT MIGHT: There’s a certain twisted logic to bringing the rebounding ace into the fold for the Lakers. D1