Remember a Game Called Basketball?

The NBA, whatever it is, it’s back.

We haven’t written much about the upcoming season, not wanting to waste any words in the event there wasn’t one. But now we know there will be, even if the fans are sullen or absent and the basketball isn’t as good as it normally is, which is pretty bad, indeed.

Nor will there be the usual leisurely preseason, with lots of bonhomie and optimism but a frantic attempt to whip players in shape while getting almost 200 free agents signed.

In order of last season’s records, here’s what teams are looking at:

CHICAGO: OK, so what does Michael Jordan do now?

His disappearance from the union vanguard is being interpreted as proof he has made up his mind to retire. His buddy, Charles Barkley, said that’s what Jordan will do.

Jordan said he’d only play for Phil Jackson, but Jackson has been replaced by Jerry Krause protege Tim Floyd. In case you haven’t been keeping up, Jordan doesn’t think much of Krause. Jordan said he had to have Scottie Pippen alongside him to stay, but Pippen is so adamant about getting out, the Bulls now intend to sign him and trade him.

Looks as if it’s getting kind of late in the dynasty.

UTAH: Ike Austin showed with the Clippers he isn’t a great center, but all Utah needs is an upgrade from its three-headed vacuum--Greg Ostertag, Greg Foster and Antoine Carr. Owner Larry Miller has to mellow out Karl Malone, who negotiated his own contract again for 33% of his market value and went on a summer-long sulk, even volunteering to join the archrival Lakers.

LAKERS: Budget constraints and general fatigue mean they’ll trade $7-million backup Elden Campbell. The Laker dean (honest) has been here so long, we all feel as if we had a hand in raising him, so we’ll miss his lethargy and pained expressions.

If the Bulls trade Pippen, the Lakers will be interested. He was effectively a point guard in Chicago and would take the heat off Derek Fisher. The Bulls would be delighted to do it for Eddie Jones, who’s free next summer and won’t fit in Jerry Buss’ budget with Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant making big money.

SEATTLE: Will el cheapo owner Barry Ackerley and Howdy Doody look-alike General Manager Wally Walker pony up for free agents who could help, such as Vlade Divac or Kevin Johnson?

INDIANA: The Larry Bird Exceptions showed how serious they are by working out together throughout the lockout, the only team to do so. Even free agent Rik Smits participated, a sure sign he’s staying. For some reason, this harmonious group also will join the bidding for Latrell Sprewell.

PHOENIX: Only six players under contract, including Martin Muursepp, Bubba Wells and Pat Garrity, and they may let pricey, unfinished Antonio McDyess walk away. They thought about Pippen, but decided to pursue Tom Gugliotta, Divac, Matt Geiger or Luc Longley. Yes, that Luc Longley. No, it doesn’t make any sense to me, either.

SAN ANTONIO: The Spurs need players but are $5 million over the projected $31-million cap, with shallow-pockets ownership. Will pick up whatever inexpensive firepower they can find, try it again with David Robinson and Tim Duncan--then trade the Admiral next summer if things don’t work out.

MIAMI: Pat Riley, looking for firepower, tried for Sprewell last season and might try again.

CHARLOTTE: Divac is looking west, Geiger is looking anywhere Coach Dave Cowens isn’t, Glen Rice’s agent, David Falk, is in another snit with ownership, and Anthony Mason is Anthony Mason. Forget teal, color them dead.

ATLANTA: Ted Turner’s idea of a free-agent signing is Garry Maddox. The Hawks, the bargain-basement entry in the empire, will make a run at Fox (Rick, not the ubiquitous television network) or Scott Burrell.

CLEVELAND: The Cavaliers made their big move last season, giving Shawn Kemp $100 million. This year’s big move is hoping he goes back to being Shawn Kemp.

PORTLAND: Trader Bob Whitsitt, who also runs Paul Allen’s other team, the Seahawks, got a break since he’ll have to pay Damon Stoudamire only $70 million, not $100 million. It’s still too much.

MINNESOTA: Trying to re-sign Gugliotta, but the price will be high because Gugliotta, 29, coming off two 20-point, nine-rebound-a-game seasons, is in even more demand than Pippen.

NEW YORK: You know the Knicks, they’re always on some flight of fancy, but they’re already locked into a $52-million roster and so last spring’s trade for Marcus Camby was probably their big move.

NEW JERSEY: John “Screamin’ Cal” Calipari will re-sign Jayson Williams, who will then entertain the world with jokes at his coach’s expense. Unless he quiets down, or his players get earplugs, the talented but volatile Cal seems as if he’s coming to the end of the line.

WASHINGTON: The Wizards made their big move last spring, trading Chris Webber and heading for oblivion. Free agent Rod Strickland isn’t fond of Juwan ($100 Million for This?) Howard. On the other hand, just who does Strickland like? What a break for the long-suffering Mitch Richmond, getting traded to these turkeys.

HOUSTON: Hoping for another Last Hurrah, the Rockets want to re-sign Charles Barkley and bag an elephant or two, like McDyess, Pippen or Strickland.

ORLANDO: One year from Penny Hardaway’s free agency, unless the Magic chokes him after he rips the club in public again. The shopping list goes: 1) Pippen, 2) Geiger.

DETROIT: Two years from Grant Hill’s free agency, the Pistons have to do something to convince him to stay. They want a better center, like Geiger.

BOSTON: The good news is now the Celtics won’t have to give Antoine Walker that $115 million he wanted. The bad news is now they’ll probably keep the prima donna.

MILWAUKEE: George Karl has an interesting club but a tough decision. The Bucks were at odds with Terrell Brandon (they thought he rested his problem ankle during the season to get ready for the Dream Team) and he’s free next summer.

PHILADELPHIA: Their big move will be re-signing Theo Ratliff for $8 million a year or so, way too much.

SACRAMENTO: General Manager Geoff Petrie has his work cut out, trying to re-sign Corliss Williamson and getting Webber to report. Webber is reportedly trying to force a trade to the Lakers but has three years left on his contract, with Petrie vowing not to deal him, especially within the division.

DALLAS: Don Nelson made his big move last spring, trading up to draft German wunderkind Dirk Nowitzki. Now let’s see how phenomenal this phenom is.

GOLDEN STATE: Holding a fire sale for Sprewell, just hoping he doesn’t choke anyone else until they can get him off their hands.

VANCOUVER: Lots of good, young players. The Grizzlies’ next challenge is trying to get Shareef Abdur-Rahim, free next summer, to stay. Winning 20 games some season would help.

TORONTO: Paid $125 million to get in the league, traded their first two No. 1 picks, Stoudamire and Camby, lost General Manager Isiah Thomas. Starting over with kids like Kevin Willis and Charles Oakley.

CLIPPERS: Won’t they need a coach at some point? Best bet is assistant Jim Brewer, another low-budget pick. On the other hand, with a real center and several powerful young forwards, they should be better.

DENVER: Nick Van Exel, their new team leader, just tried to leave the country. Not a good sign. They must re-sign LaPhonso Ellis, who was starting to look like LaPhonso Ellis again late last season. Of course, no one was watching Nugget games by then except family and close friends, so who noticed?

More Coverge

MAIN STORY: Owners, players reach labor accord.A1

BILL PLASCHKE: The NBA announces it needs a hug? Get lost.A1

NOT BUYING IT: Fan reaction on Main Street might be muted.C1

RANDY HARVEY: King exec Tim Leiweke is glad it’s over.D2

HAPPY DAYS: Lockout’s end leaves Lakers in good position.D6

A LOT TO DO: Clipper needs: a coach, No. 1 draft choice.D7

VIGNETTES: How those with links to game were affected.D8-9

REMEMBER THEM? A refresher course on all of the teams.D10

STATE OF UNION: Marvin Miller says it failed.D11