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A consumer’s guide to the best and worst of sports media and merchandise. Ground rules: If it can be read, played, heard, observed, worn, viewed, dialed or downloaded, it’s in play here.

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What: “Sports Night”

When: Tuesday, 9:30 p.m., Channel 7

The promos were right. This show has as much to do with sports as “Baywatch” did with water safety.

(Not that I ever watched “Baywatch.” Honest.)

OK, so “Sports Night” is not about sports. What is it about?

People. Funny people. Smart people. People who need people. People who talk like you and I wish we could talk.

In about half of its first season, this has proved to be the best-written show on television, but that shouldn’t be too surprising, when you consider that the creator is Adam Sorkin, who wrote “A Few Good Men” and “The American President.”

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It also shows what you can do when you pass up big names--I’m talking to you, the people behind “Becker” and “Encore! Encore!”--and go with a top-notch ensemble cast.

Josh Charles and Peter Krause are perfect as the anchors of a nightly broadcast that is trying to catch “SportsCenter.” Felicity Huffman is the overworked producer, who gets help and grief from love-struck associates Joshua Maline and Sabrina Lloyd.

The best-known member of the cast is Robert Guillaume, who holds everything together as executive producer. Benson was never better in the governor’s mansion.

The chemistry and the dialogue simply sparkle, but here are a couple of suggestions:

* Stay away from sports. I’m still trying to figure out how UCLA’s 12-of-24 shooting was the key to a 65-50 loss to Arizona. And don’t try to impress anyone by rattling off all the teams in Major League Soccer.

* Lose the laugh track. Now.

With “Seinfeld” in syndication heaven, this is must-see TV.

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