LAUGH LINES

So Sorry: Reports now say DNA tests prove Clinton is not the father of an Arkansas’ hooker’s son. “It took us seven years, but we finally found something Clinton was accused of that he didn’t do.” (Jay Leno)

A Different Kind of Politics: With the Senate trial of President Clinton underway, Sen. Robert Byrd told CNN he could go either way. “The next day, he got a dozen red roses from Barney Frank.” (Argus Hamilton)

Role Playing: Elizabeth Dole may run for president. “The role for Bob Dole is a bit unclear. What would we call him--the first man? The first gentleman? The first lean mean love machine?” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Play Ball: During the NBA lockout, players are said to have lost $500 million. “That doesn’t include lawyers’ fees for paternity suits.” (Werner S. Haas)

Up in Smoke: With the possibility of an exhibition baseball game between American and Cuban players, the United States is easing the Cuban embargo a bit. “Close but no cigar!” (Haas)

On the Newsstand: Barbra Streisand’s wedding was among the top-selling issues of People magazine in 1998. “Among the worst-selling issues: Burt Reynolds and Marv Albert in the Great Toupee Debate.” (Bob Mills)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.