Montgomerie Will Pine No More After Pinehurst

It has been Colin Montgomerie’s personal torture chamber, but that’s all going to change next week at the U.S. Open at Pinehurst, N.C., where the burly Scot is going to win his first major championship.

Yes, and you read it here first.

Now, Montgomerie seems to be able to save his most miserable moments for the U.S. Open--such as his loss in a playoff in 1994 at Oakmont when he showed up on a blistering day wearing a black shirt and nearly flambeed himself and his collapse at Congressional in 1997 when he was put off by a too-chatty gallery.

But think nothing of it. Monty’s the man. Want to know why? Glad you asked. To begin with, he’s not going to notice the U.S. Open is in the U.S., because it’s North Carolina, which barely is.

Second, aside from Tiger Woods, Montgomerie is playing better than anyone in North Carolina or anywhere else. He won the Benson & Hedges International Open in mid-May and two weeks later won the Volvo PGA Championship with a 64 on the last day.

All right, he tied for fifth last week at the English Open, but he clearly was saving himself for Pinehurst.

Montgomerie’s confidence was way up after winning at Wentworth the week before, where he was bogey-free for the last 39 holes.

Said Monty: “If I can play this way and this confidently, and course manage this way, then I can win the U.S. Open.”

So it’s all the way with Monty. But if he can’t do it, there are a few other players to keep an eye on . . . longshots and others.

* Ernie Els. Because he has won two of them since 1994 and he’s strong enough to reach the green from knee-deep rough.

* Woods. It remains to be seen if he can keep it on the fairway and then keep the ball on the green, but he has the potential.

* Loren Roberts. Why not? He has won a tournament this year, he can putt and he has contended in Opens before.

* David Duval. He’s bound to win a major before long. Next week would be pretty soon.

* Jeff Maggert. He may not look like a major championship winner, but he plays like one in the U.S. Open (four top 10s in the last five years).

* Davis Love III. He played Pinehurst a bunch of times as a student at the University of North Carolina, so he knows the place like the bottom of his Tar Heel.

Everybody else, get in line.

PINEHOT? PINEHURT?

News item: The temperature Thursday at Pinehurst was 98 degrees.

Reaction: Wonderful.

Chances are, somebody is going to melt into a pool of oozing polyester before the U.S. Open is over.

As for the condition of the famed No. 2 course, it’s allegedly perfect. Right now. Brad Kocher, director of golf maintenance at Pinehurst, said the rough was cut to 3 1/2 inches Wednesday, although the USGA is probably going to let it grow a little taller, or just enough to lose a caddie in it.

The fairways have been narrowed and the landing areas measure 28 to 30 yards wide, except for the landing areas on the par-four third and 13th holes, where they’re 23 yards across.

Will this make a difference? Yeah. It’s easier to land a plane on angel hair pasta.

But the greens are going to be the story. The Bermuda greens are being watered almost daily, according to Kocher, but that’s not going to last.

“We’re pouring the water to them,” he said.

The faucet is going to be shut off by Thursday, you can be sure.

“We can put little to nothing on them,” he said.

To the USGA, nothing sounds about right. Kocher estimates that the greens average 6,000 square feet, but target areas on most greens are less than 1,000 square feet if you want to keep your ball on the putting surface.

“Going for the pin is not an option on a lot of them,” he said.

Par may not be an option either.

THE NUMBERS GAME

How much does Woods being in contention mean to network television ratings? His victory Sunday in the Memorial answered that question.

The CBS telecast earned an overnight rating of 4.8 and a 13 share, up 30% from last year and the highest-rated Memorial ever.

Meanwhile, NBC’s coverage of the women’s U.S. Open drew a 2.0 rating and a 4 share, down 35% from a year ago.

NEW BAR IN TOWN

A sure sign you have everything? Come clean, now. You own Fore!, by Primal Elements, a bath product manufacturer. Fore! is a bar of soap that follows a golf motif--with green soap grass beneath a red soap tee which holds a white soap golf ball.

The soap is available at a suggested retail price of $7.50.

IF YOU’RE KEEPING SCORE

For what it’s worth, Woods won the Memorial using a Titleist 975D driver with a True Temper Dynamic Gold steel shaft, a Titleist 15-degree fairway metal wood, Titleist prototype irons with Dynamic Gold steel shafts, a Volcey Design sand wedge and lob wedge, a Scotty Cameron by Titleist prototype putter, playing a Titleist Professional ball and wearing Nike Golf apparel.

TIGER UPDATE

Mark O’Meara was very impressed with Woods’ short game that led to his victory at Muirfield Village. In fact, O’Meara left no doubt that Woods is the player to beat at Pinehurst.

Said O’Meara: “Absolutely he can win the U.S. Open. He knows how to manage himself better now. I’ve played with a lot of great players and this guy’s got more raw talent than any player I’ve ever seen.

“That doesn’t necessarily get you wins, but as soon as you learn to master your composure, with that talent, there’s no stopping him.”

THUNDER(GOLF)BALL

Everybody knows that 007 is not a golf score.

But in the spirit of James Bond, the Ian Fleming Foundation is conducting a benefit golf tournament at Stoke Poges outside London, the same course where Bond went club to club with his arch foe, Goldfinger, in the 1964 film “Goldfinger.”

Maybe you remember. Oddjob keeps shaking golf balls out of the leg of his pants to help his boss, but Bond ultimately prevails when he proves Goldfinger is playing the wrong ball.

Anyway, such Bond figures as Christopher Lee, “Goldfinger” director Guy Hamilton, former Bond director John Glen, soon-to-appear in next Bond film John Cleese and Tim Moxon, the first person ever killed in a Bond film (Strangways in “Dr. No) are scheduled to take part. Of course, Sean Connery has been invited.

If things work out, there will be birdies galore. Wagers are likely to be allowed. The limit? Moneypenny, of course.

THREE FOR THE ROAD

Here’s a threesome for the first two days of the U.S. Open--defending champion Lee Janzen, defending British Open champion O’Meara and defending U.S. Amateur champion Hank Kuehne.

YEAH, BUT WHO IS?

From the It-Sounds-Really-Good-But-What-Does-It-Mean Dept., as spoken by Nick Price: “I’m on the back nine of my career, but I’m not sure what hole I’m on.”

WIND OR LOSE

Oh, that ABC. We’re talking cutting edge here. During its coverage of the FedEx St. Jude Classic this weekend, the network will use the “ABC Sports Wind-Meter” to measure wind speed and direction during shots.

Tufts of grass tossed into the air are hereby outlawed.

HIS WAY OR PARAGUAY

Paraguay’s Carlos Franco is 34, a PGA Tour rookie, and his tie for third at the Memorial means that he set a rookie record for money won--$947,120.

Duval set the previous record of $881,436 in 1995.

TIPPING IS OPTIONAL

OK, Sherwood Country Club is exclusive and a match-play event between No. 1 and No. 2 is exclusive, so tickets to the Woods-Duval showdown should be exclusive too, right?

Well, yes, they are. Also expensive. Grounds passes to the Aug. 2 event cost $225 and only 1,500 are going to be sold.

For $550, you can snag one of the 200 clubhouse passes, which allow VIP parking as well as a swan dive into the food at the pre-match and post-match parties.

Ticket information: (800) TICKETS.

BIRDIES, BOGEYS, PARS

Charles Barkley, Clyde Drexler, Jerry West, Bill Russell and Jerry West are among those expected to play in the Magic Johnson Foundation’s celebrity tournament Aug. 2 at MountainGate Country Club. The event benefits the foundation’s scholarship fund. Details: (310) 338-8110.

The American Diabetes Assn. African American Chapter will host a tournament June 18 at Cypress Golf Club in Los Alamitos. Details: (323) 966-2890, Ext. 334.

For the first time, golf is an official competitive sport in the Special Olympics World Games, June 26 in Raleigh-Durham, N.C. The PGA of America is supporting the golf portion of the Games. Golfers Bobby Hager and Edwin Hager of Thousand Oaks are scheduled to compete.

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Ones to Watch at the U.S. Open

Colin Montgomerie

Tiger Woods

Ernie Els

Loren Roberts

David Duval

Jeff Maggert

Davis Love III