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NBC’s Guokas Never Got to the Points

With the Lakers trailing the Orlando Magic, 63-43, at halftime Sunday, NBC television analyst Matt Guokas said: “Right now the Lakers are a terrible defensive team.”

After the Lakers rallied in the second half with 72 points to win, 115-104, Guokas commented: “The Lakers did it with their defense and that created their offense.”

Atlanta holds the NBA record for most points scored in the second half with 97 against San Diego on Feb. 11, 1970.

Trivia time: What is the Laker record for most points scored in a half?

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Handyman: From Jay Leno: “I had a scary incident happen today. I’m on the freeway in the fast lane, got a flat tire. Luckily, Don King showed up. Man, that guy can fix anything.”

No hope: Rick Telander in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Picture the NCAA tournament. There are a bunch of logs floating down a river. Some get lost in the shoals, some splinter in the falls, some roll over the tops of others.

“The giddy survivors reach a sawmill called Duke, and, oops, it’s sawdust city for everyone. . .

“The sawing is just beginning.”

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Under siege: New York Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy sarcastically commenting on rumors that he will be fired:

“The first year [the job security questions started] right after I got the job. The second year it was 12 games, the third year it was 15. They waited too long this year.”

Ultimate gig: Running back Terrell Davis of the Denver Broncos turned down most TV offers after the Super Bowl, but one he couldn’t resist.

“A lot of athletes get asked to be on Leno and Letterman, but ‘Sesame Street?’ That means you’ve come a long way.” He’s on March 26.

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Short trip: Cleveland guard Bob Sura after the Cavaliers traded teammate Vitaly Potapenko to Boston:

“I told him if he could come all the way from the Ukraine to Wright State, he could go from Cleveland to Boston.”

Didn’t he? Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch wonders: “Would Tim Johnson still be managing the Toronto Blue Jays today if he hadn’t put ‘First Man to Walk on the Moon’ on his resume?”

Why not? Jerry Magee in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “One wag has suggested an [NFL] team in L.A. should be called the ‘Gridlock.’ Singular, like Chicago Fire.

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“ ‘It’s got grid in it,’ said Brian Golden of the Antelope Valley Press, ‘and everybody can relate to gridlock.’ ”

Trivia answer: 91, against Chicago in 1966 and Golden State in 1972. In the game against Golden State, the Lakers scored a franchise-record 162 points.

And finally: Woody Paige of the Denver Post says he’s “positive Noah played basketball. . . but obviously didn’t like to wander far enough from the basket to try a three-pointer.

“The Bible tells us in Genesis that Noah only took twos inside the ark.”

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