PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Grief-stricken readers watched helplessly last week as a sideswiped Swami crashed and burned against demolition driver Darin Esper, a.k.a. Gaskethead. This was akin to the New York Yankees losing to a T-ball squad. My only excuse is that I was distracted, scouring the Valley in a desperate search for Pokemon action figures. I didn’t find any, but fortunately my opponent this week is a dead ringer for Pikachu. Steve Henson has vowed to eat my lunch, which isn’t surprising, considering he eats just about anything--barbecue, Thai food, pocket lint. He made quite a splash on the City football beat earlier this season when sideline doctors were summoned to extract a half-eaten chalupa from his throat. Look for Steve to choke again.

The Prophet

Season totals for The Prophet: 102 of 149 (68%), 169 points

Steve Henson

Season totals for the guests: 96 of 149 (64%), 160 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Valencia vs. Crescenta Valley at Glendale High

THE PROPHET SAYS: Valencia marked the occasion of Manuel White surpassing 6,000 career yards rushing by losing to Saugus, further proof the Vikings have big problems when they fall behind because their passing game stinks. Fortunately for White and Co., Crescenta Valley has bigger problems because of turmoil caused by recent suspensions and lousy credit. Valencia, 27-20.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Granada Hills at San Fernando

THE PROPHET SAYS: After getting fat on a steady diet of cupcakes, San Fernando gagged on Sylmar’s full-course meal that included a large piece of humble pie. Granada Hills, which has won its last three games by a combined score of 112-21, sweeps up the crumbs. Granada Hills, 28-24.

Kennedy at Sylmar

THE PROPHET SAYS: Frenzied Sylmar players ripped apart a stuffed Tiger before demolishing San Fernando, a tactic that proved so successful that Coach Jeff Engilman has transported his entire Beanie Baby collection to school. That’s bad news for Paws, the cuddly Golden Cougar, as well as Kennedy’s streak-busting football team. Sylmar, 35-21.

Righetti at Newbury Park

THE PROPHET SAYS: Henson used to play football for Newbury Park. Enough said. Righetti, 26-14.

THE REST (1 point each)

* Cleveland vs. Dorsey at Jackie Robinson Field: The Prophet: James Bethea and Cleveland are on a roll, but it will take more than momentum to beat Dorsey on its home field. Dorsey, 32-26. Henson: Dorsey 35-28.

* Taft vs. San Pedro at Daniels Field: The Prophet: This is Troy Starr’s worst nightmare, considering the Taft coach’s dismal postseason record against the Pirates. San Pedro, 21-14. Henson: San Pedro, 34-31.

* Alemany at Esperanza: The Prophet: Casey Clausen, De’Andre Scott and Coach Jim Bonds have had a good run at Alemany, but the season ends against a traditional Orange County power. Esperanza, 35-24. Henson: Esperanza, 30-24.

* Muir at Antelope Valley: The Prophet: This could be a track meet between two strong running teams. We like the Mustangs down the stretch. Muir, 27-20. Henson: Muir, 33-20.

* Chaminade vs. Saugus at Canyon High: The Prophet: Quarterback David Parker made me eat my words last week by leading Saugus over Valencia. I’m not making the same mistake again. Saugus, 35-17. Henson: Saugus 24-10.

* Littlerock at Notre Dame: The Prophet: If Rodney Woods of Littlerock has found little daylight the last two weeks, wait until he gets a load of Travis Johnson and the stifling Knight defense. Notre Dame, 38-14. Henson: Notre Dame, 21-17.

* Thousand Oaks at Hueneme: The Prophet: Thousand Oaks, which fell on its face against Newbury Park last week, picks itself up against inconsistent Hueneme. Thousand Oaks, 27-21. Henson: Thousand Oaks, 31-30.

* Oxnard vs. Ventura at Rio Mesa High: The Prophet: Ventura eked out a 21-20 victory over Oxnard in the regular season. The rematch isn’t as close. Ventura, 28-14. Henson: Ventura, 17-7.

* Lompoc at Camarillo: The Prophet: After starting 0-4-1, Camarillo has won five in a row and appears a good bet to win at least one playoff game. Camarillo, 26-21. Henson: Lompoc, 31-28.

* Chaparral at Oak Park: The Prophet: Oak Park’s four-game winning streak comes to an end against the visitors from Temecula. Chaparral, 31-20. Henson: Chaparral, 24-14

* Desert vs. Paraclete at Antelope Valley College: The Prophet: Paraclete gets to work on a third consecutive Southern Section divisional title. Paraclete, 38-17. Henson: Paraclete, 41-10.