Oakland Motto: Once a Raider, Always a Raider

Times NFL writer T.J. Simers poses--and answers--the burning questions for this week’s games:

Question: Why are the Raiders so funny?

Answer: It comes naturally. During warmups last Sunday, the Oakland Coliseum scoreboard advised the hometown fans that the co-captains for the game would be Jeff George and Aaron Wallace. George is in Minnesota, Wallace is out of football, and the scoreboard operator was obviously out to lunch.

The next message, however, provided the punch line: “Commitment to Excellence.”

Q: Why is the game between the Rams and Bengals so big?

A: The loser becomes the first team to reach 100 defeats in the ‘90s. The Rams are 47-99; the Bengals are 48-99. San Francisco is 111-36 in the ‘90s largely because the Rams are in their division.

Q: Whatever happened to Keyshawn Johnson?

A: Johnson was going to certify himself as one of the game’s dominant players when the season began, with the Jets favored by some to go all the way. In three quarters of play with Vinny Testaverde and then Tom Tupa throwing him the ball, he caught seven passes for 185 yards and a touchdown.

Rick Mirer has played the last nine quarters and Johnson has seven catches for 83 yards and no touchdowns.

Q: How bad are the Browns?

A: After the Browns’ first three games, they were averaging 6.3 points a contest. As of Tuesday, the Indians were averaging the same number of runs per game this season.

Q: Why should Raider Coach Jon Gruden be so motivated to beat Seattle Coach Mike Holmgren?

A: Holmgren fired him.

Holmgren was the Packers’ head coach and Gruden, 29 at the time and a quality control coach for the Packers, was his driver. That’s right, his driver.

“If I had a speaking engagement or something, he would drive and then I’d have someone to talk to,” Holmgren said. “But he was a lousy driver. That scared me. He’d get preoccupied talking about some pass play or something and we’d almost get in a wreck, so I’d have to get another driver.”

Gruden acknowledged being dismissed.

“What can I say?” he said. “I was driving in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin, with six feet of snow. What kind of driver do you think you would be?”

Q: Are the Eagles that bad?

A: Worse. They haven’t scored a touchdown in 11 consecutive quarters and haven’t scored in the second half this season. They have had 40 drives on offense this year and three have gone 35 yards or more. Punter Sean Landeta has kicked 25 times, and at that pace, he will break the NFL record of 121 in season by Chicago’s Bob Parsons in 1981.