Adults Only May Be Theme for Houston Team

Times NFL writer T.J. Simers poses--and answers--the burning questions for this week:

Question: Is Houston really all that excited about getting an expansion team?

Answer: A day after being awarded an expansion team, a Web site was set up to provide information on the new team. The Web site service expected 100,000 hits for the day, but got more than 200,000 an hour. Sandy Kay, director of INSYNC Internet Services, said the Houston numbers were similar to the company’s Web site that broadcast live updates from the Mars Pathfinder when it landed on Mars on July 4, 1997.

Steve Patterson, Houston’s executive vice president for the new team, said, “Cripes, we’re averaging more hits than any porno site in America.”

Q: Why does the NFL feel good about the prospects that L.A. one day will come begging for a team?

A: Everyone else does it. Baltimore, Cleveland, Houston. . . . Houston never sold more than 44,000 season tickets in the best of years, and earlier this week orders for 41,000 tickets had already been processed for the new team without anyone knowing how much the tickets or the personal seat licenses will cost.

“We knew it was going to be big,” Patterson said. “But not this big.”

Houston refused to build a new stadium for Bud Adams, who moved to Nashville, but gave $200 million to Bob McNair for a new stadium, who then gave the NFL $700 million to once again have a team in Houston.

The NFL believes time will soften L.A.’s resolve, and football fans will be lining up to pay whatever it costs to see a game.

Q: What will Houston call its new team?

A: The popular choice right now: the Texans.

Q: What are the chances of someone catching Dan Marino?

A: Depends on how soon Miami Coach Jimmy Johnson puts him on the bench. Marino needs seven yards to become the first player in NFL history to pass for 60,000, but Johnson doesn’t appear impressed. In his news conference after Marino had thrown for 393 yards to beat the Colts, Johnson spoke uninterrupted for 4 minutes 18 seconds about the game and never credited Marino for playing well, a week after blasting him in a similar setting for playing poorly.

John Elway stands second to Marino with 51,475 yards and he’s finished. Warren Moon has 49,097 yards and he doesn’t play.

“To play that well for that long, I just don’t know if you’ll see anybody do it,” Patriot quarterback Drew Bledsoe said. “First of all, for anybody to start to approach it, Dan’s going to have to retire one of these years, and I don’t know if he wants to do that.”

Only two players in NFL history have topped the 20,000-yard mark in their first six seasons. Marino threw for 23,856. Bledsoe threw for 21,981. Bledsoe now trails Marino by about 37,000 yards.

When Johnson was asked who might have the best chance of matching Marino’s record numbers, he huffed, “I have no idea. I don’t know anything about records.”

Q: What about Pennsylvania?

A: “We have to win some football games,” said Pittsburgh running back Jerome Bettis. “This is not a nice town if you’re losing football games, believe me. It’s not the place you want to live if you’re losing football games. So we have to win some football games--or else leave town.”

It must be a Pennsylvania thing. Win or lose, Philadelphia is not a nice town. Just ask Michael Irvin, who heard boos while lying on his back last Sunday and wondering if he would ever walk again.