SPORTS WEEKEND : AROUND THE NFC / CENTRAL : Celebration of Cynicism

Bear running back Curtis Enis has put on a show in each of the team’s first two games after scoring touchdowns.

“I don’t want to curtail anybody’s exuberance, but I don’t want any planned celebration in the end zone,” Coach Dick Jauron said.

Don’t know how anybody playing for the Bears could ever plan on making it to the end zone, but when asked if he had planned his celebration, Enis said, “None of your business. If I planned it, I planned it. If I did it spontaneously, I did it spontaneously. What I decide to do when I get into the end zone is my business. It’s not yours.”

Can’t wait to ask him if he planned on fumbling.

One of the Chicago newspapers interviewed Dale Whalen, a quadriplegic from Forest Park, Ill., while watching former UCLA quarterback Cade McNown scramble out of trouble during the team’s game with Seattle.

“He ran pretty good,” Whalen said, “for a handicapped guy. It’ll always be in the back of my mind. He’s a bum.”

McNown, still waiting for a hearing after acquiring a handicapped-parking placard while at UCLA, has declined comment.

Shane Matthews, who starts for the Bears, has thrown 97 passes in his six-year career and has yet to throw an interception.

Tampa Bay quarterback Trent Dilfer has a sore shoulder. That ought to kick off a celebration in Tampa. Unfortunately, Dilfer has started 66 consecutive games, and is expected to take on Denver. That ought to kick off a celebration in Denver.

Safety LeRoy Butler asked for it, so here goes. The Packers were trampled by the Vikings a year ago.

“There’s a purple . . . train coming,” Butler said. “We have to brace for it. Lick your wounds at night and watch all the shows about how bad we were and read all the bad press. If we win, it’s a new day. I’ve been here too long for us to panic.”