PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Not that I have a lot to complain about, but . . . if it wasn’t bad enough watching Notre Dame defeat USC, I had to endure Eric Sondheimer’s taunts after Notre Dame High got past Peninsula last week. It’s been hell around here, with the office Leprechaun shaking a shillelagh in my face while singing the “Lucky Charms” song. It’s tragically malicious. Thankfully, picking Notre Dame to lose was one of my few missteps against Dave “Desert Dog” Desmond. Every dog has his day, but Desmond is still waiting for his after getting neutered by your Soothsaying Swami, whose 36-point lead over the ink-stained minions is easily the largest in Prophet history.

Season totals for the Prophet: 134 of 180 (74%), 212 points

Season totals for the guests: 122 of 180 (68%), 176 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Hart vs. St. Francis at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: It’s a good thing Sondheimer isn’t covering this one, because he wouldn’t know whom to root for. He loves the Herringtons. He loves Jim Bonds. It would be like watching mommy and daddy having a fight. Hart will probably win, but I’ll stick my neck out. St. Francis, 30-26.

SONDHEIMER SAYS: Bill Redell, former St. Francis coach, wants to bet a steak dinner on the Golden Knights. Please order mine medium rare, Bill. It’s going to take more than a fumblerooski for Jim Bonds to beat his golfing partners from Hart. St. Francis can win if RB Matt Milton finds running room. But defense wins championships, and no team has a better line than the Indians. Hart, 24-21.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Notre Dame at Mira Costa

THE PROPHET SAYS: With the help of an Auto Club map and compass, Valley boy Sondheimer hopes to find his way to Manhattan Beach in time for kickoff. The drive home will be tougher after his beloved Knights are drawn and quartered by the Mustangs. Mira Costa, 28-14.

SONDHEIMER SAYS: Don’t ask me to explain how Notre Dame is unbeaten with an inconsistent offense. It seems as if every other week, the offense wakes up. Last week, the Knights passed for only 58 yards, so this week they could break loose. Of course, the defense always comes through. Notre Dame, 17-14.

*

Arroyo Grande at Agoura

THE PROPHET SAYS: I’m assuming Sondheimer will pick Agoura, considering he thinks Arroyo Grande is a new burrito at Taco Bell. Arroyo Grande, 34-21.

SONDHEIMER SAYS: OK, no one gives Agoura a chance to win. It would be beyond astonishing for Agoura to reach the Division IV final. But remember, Chris Denove is a top quarterback. He can give Arroyo Grande fits if the Chargers protect him. It’s going to be tough to stop Arroyo Grande’s running attack, but all Denove needs is a chance. Agoura, 35-31.

*

Lompoc at Ventura

THE PROPHET SAYS: With Westlake and Buena out of the way, Ventura looks like a team of destiny. UCLA booster Sondheimer will be there Saturday night to declare RB Tyler Ebell worthy of a Bruin scholarship. Ventura, 35-17.

SONDHEIMER SAYS: When I saw how hard center Billy Griffin was working out during the summer, I knew Ventura’s offensive line would have a magical season. Tyler Ebell is going to break the national rushing record with the help of his line buddies. It will be a remarkable accomplishment, but deserving, with game balls for everyone. Ventura, 42-35.

THE REST (1 point each)

* Kern Valley vs. Paraclete at Antelope Valley College: The Prophet: The Spirits take another step toward a possible record-tying fourth consecutive Southern Section title. Paraclete, 38-20. Sondheimer: Paraclete, 42-21.

* St. Bonaventure vs. Carpinteria at Moorpark High: The Prophet: No one in Division XI can handle St. Bonaventure, let alone a team that lost to the Seraphs by 32 points in the regular season. St. Bonaventure, 42-7. Sondheimer: St. Bonaventure, 54-7.

* Montclair Prep vs. Bosco Tech at Valley College: The Prophet: RB Gary Sonkur and the Mounties trample another opponent on their way to a Division XII showdown with Paraclete. Montclair Prep, 48-14. Sondheimer: Montclair Prep, 35-28.