Their Bid Could Go Into Toilet

Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “The Chinese are taking their bid for the 2008 Summer Olympics seriously. The China Daily says the government is giving itself two years to bring its, um, unpleasant public toilets up to a higher standard.

“The new models will be ranked with one to four stars, with those on the high end featuring granite floors, automatic flush, ‘lively music’ and lots of other good stuff.”

Don’t ask about the single-star models.

*

Trivia time: Hugo Bezdek made Rose Bowl appearances with three teams as a coach. What were those teams?

*

Pie peril: Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News says Heisman Trophy voting is serious business:

“Because I didn’t vote for Doug Flutie once upon a time, an irritated New Englander came from Boston to hit me in the face with a pie, frozen, Boston cream, one of the rare cases of Heisman assault.

“Since, I have always been careful, yet I will consider not voting for Josh Heupel of Oklahoma, well aware that the choice of weapons available in Norman, Okla., does not generally include pastry.”

*

Don’t be so sure: Dan Shaughnessy in the Boston Globe: “The 2001 [baseball] Hall of Fame ballot leaves little margin for error. There are no butterflies, no chads (certainly not Chad Curtis). It’s arranged in the shape of a batter’s box and even the writers from Florida papers should be able to handle it.”

*

Jokester? Ichiro Suzuki, a Japanese outfielder signed by the Seattle Mariners, on new teammate Kazuhiro Sasaki, the American League rookie of the year:

“He likes to drink. I hope I don’t have to go out with him. I’m going to have a clause in my contract that says I don’t have to go out with him.”

Suzuki says he was only kidding.

*

Easy math: Bob Knight spoke recently at the University of Florida. When a flustered student leader introduced him as someone who had brought “uncountable wins,” Knight retorted: “I’ve been able to count them.”

Losses too, Bob?

*

Diet tip: Igor Larionov, the NHL’s oldest player at 40: “When you drink two glasses of wine every day, except game day, and eat a lot of vegetables and fruit, it is not difficult to stay trim.”

*

Perseverance: After five leg operations and two years of rehab, gold medalist Picabo Street won’t quit. Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg told the San Francisco Chronicle that he considers her “the Al Gore of skiing.”

*

How about enemies? After the Dayton Daily News reported recently that five friends asked Cincinnati Bengal owner and team President Mike Brown to give up control of the team, Brown retorted: “I don’t have five friends.”

*

A bad crowd: Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post reports that interim Redskin Coach Terry Robiskie hasn’t used the parking space at Redskins Park with his name and new title plastered on it.

Is this because of modesty? Not exactly.

“I don’t like parking in the spots where they put my name,” Robiskie said. “I got a lot of bad friends. . . . I’ve got a few somewhere, if they knew (what) I was driving, they might blow it up.”

*

Trivia answer: Oregon, 1917; Mare Island Marines, 1918; and Penn State, 1923.

*

And finally: Former NFL referee Jim Tunney recalled for AP columnist Hal Bock how an enraged coach Jerry Glanville, in his pre-television incarnation, became so frustrated he screamed at Tunney’s team of officials, “You guys are on drugs!”

The next time Tunney’s group got one of Glanville’s games, Tunney sidled up to the coach before the kickoff.

“I told him, ‘Hey, Jerry, we took the test. We’re OK today.’ ”