Good Fruitcakes Do Exist--Honest

Johnny Carson said there’s only one fruitcake--people just keep passing it around. But on the Internet, there are eight to 10 fruitcakes . . . at least.

I ordered four of them to taste-test because there’s something about those dense cakes--packed with candied fruits, nuts and spices and spiked with liquor--that says Christmas.

My orders went through effortlessly, and all four sites I purchased from allowed me to pick a delivery date.

Ordering food from the Internet can be a bit of a gamble because you don’t get to taste the food first. I ended up buying from sites whose names I recognized.

The fruitcake from Monks.org, made by Trappist monks at Gethsemani Farms in Kentucky, was a unanimous winner among my panel of foodies. Another cake, from Harryanddavid.com, came in second, disappearing quickly from the plate. The cake from Balduccis.com bombed, but that might be because I didn’t treat it with my “favorite liquor” as directed. (But who would before giving it as a gift?)

Here’s how it went:

Harryanddavid.com

I know Harry and David because I receive a gift of their pears every Christmas. I ordered the $19.95, 1 1/2-pound “fruitcake confection,” which the company touts as “the fruitcake for people who don’t like fruitcake.” I was offered three delivery dates based on which shipping method I chose; one allowed me to purchase the cake and have it shipped at a later time. With standard shipping ($7.95), my cake came two days ahead of the date the Web site said it would be delivered; it took six days.

Appearance: Flatter than the rest; big, impressive walnuts; basically fruit and nuts coated with batter. The least fruitcake-looking, but still pretty.

Taste comments: “More like candy.” “Sweet.” “I wouldn’t call it a fruitcake; it’s more like a New Orleans praline.”

Monks.org

I wanted a fruitcake made by monks because they supposedly bake some darn good ones. A quick search on Google.com brought up the Trappist site. The site was simple. I ordered the 2 1/2-pound Kentucky bourbon fruitcake for $24.50. An e-mail confirmation showed shipping was included. The cake arrived exactly on its requested date--the day after Thanksgiving.

Appearance: The biggest of the lot. A classic, round fruitcake with candied cherries and walnuts on top. Comes in a tin.

Taste comments: “Very moist.” “Looks like a real fruitcake.” “Whoa, it does have alcohol.”

Balduccis.com

New York-based Balduccis.com was one of the few gourmet food sites I found with fruitcakes.

The cake cost $25 plus $7.99 for shipping. I asked that my 14-ounce fruitcake be delivered Nov. 25, and that’s when it came. Its handsome black-and-gold tin, though, was dented in one corner. (A customer service representative said I could have another cake shipped at no charge for the damaged one.) The fruitcake came tucked in a muslin bag. The directions inside the tin told me to soak the bag in liquor, pop in the cake, then store the cake in the tin.

Appearance: A stylish but small loaf topped decoratively with cherries and nuts.

Taste comments: “Tastes like a health-food cake.” “Almost a burned taste.” “Doesn’t taste like fruitcake.”

Collinstreetbakery.com

An old colleague who once lived in Texas always spoke highly of the Collin Street Bakery in Corsicana, so I ordered the regular-size deluxe 1 7/8-pound fruitcake for $16.95, which included shipping. The site gave me the option of specifying a delivery date but then added that I’d need to call a toll-free number before 2 p.m. Central time to make sure that date was OK. I was a little confused by this because the minute I typed in a date, my order got processed. One page on the Web site said it would take seven to 14 days for delivery; another said to allow two weeks. It took 14 days for the cake to arrive--a week after the date I requested.

Appearance: Your basic fruitcake. Nice-looking.

Taste comments: “Lots of fruit.” “If you like pineapple, you’ll like it.” “OK.”

Conclusion

In the end, my tasters raved about the Monks.org cake and walked away nodding that, hmmm, that was pretty good, for a fruitcake.

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Jennifer Lowe is deputy food editor of The Times.

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THE SKINNY

Fruitcake

Sites shopped: https://www.balduccis.com, https://www.collinstreetbakery.com, https://www.harryanddavid.com, https://www.monks.org

The good: A great gift to send by mail (and then you don’t have to have any). You can pick your arrival date on most sites, but order now for the holidays.

The bad: Fruitcakes may not be delivered on the specified date; read the fine print carefully.

Bottom line: Hey, fruitcake’s not bad!