It’s Tough to Keep Nuggets Shipshape

It’s too bad the sailors in “Mutiny on the Bounty” weren’t NBA players or they’d have had a foolproof defense at the court martial:

“This was all just a misunderstanding.

“We just needed to communicate better.

“We didn’t handle it very well when we put Capt. Bligh in that dinghy and told him to row home, and the captain didn’t handle it very well when he acted so mean.

“We’re putting it behind us and moving on.”

In the book by Charles Nordhoff and James Hall, the penalty was swinging from a yardarm. In Denver, it was a few days of notoriety. Oh, and the mutineers will probably get Capt. Bligh--Coach Dan Issel--cashiered, after he staggers around a few more weeks, like a guy who has donated way too much blood.

That’s what happened when the Nuggets, who are known juveniles, decided to boycott a practice to let Issel know what they thought of his act.

They had lost in Boston on a Sunday to cap an 0-4 trip, after which Issel had flown into one of his rages at designated scapegoat Raef LaFrentz.

Then as they flew all night to get home and Issel announced practice Monday morning, the players began muttering.

As forward James Posey, who was nice enough to let the Denver Post in on it, noted, “We got to change the team and we got together and we talked about things. And [skipping practice] is what the conclusion was.

“We don’t know if we are going to play [Tuesday against Miami] or not. We’ll be there for shoot-around and we’ll see what goes on.”

What went on was, the world fell in on them.

Monday, several Nuggets circled the parking lot to ensure no one broke their solidarity. However, they hadn’t expected Posey, a second-year guy who was about 10th in command, to disclose their deliberations, or to miss an actual game.

Rebellious as it was--it has never even happened to the Clippers, although several players skipped a Mike Schuler practice on Martin Luther King’s birthday and 11 guys trooped into Donald T. Sterling’s office to complain about Don Casey--this looks like some macho posturing that got out of hand.

After the standard weasel-out, trying to claim they were misquoted, the Post’s Marc Spears replayed the taped interview for Posey and co-captain George McCloud, who gave up and did the manly thing, more or less.

The players confessed, citing “communication” problems, etc., which the embarrassed Issel accepted.

Said Issel, lamely, “I did tell them I was glad that they all did it together. That’s probably the first thing we’ve done as a team this year.”

Issel was already in enough trouble. After years of holding the franchise together through a series of sales, he has a new owner, Stan Kroenke, another of the fabulously wealthy Wal-Mart sons-in-law, whose arrival prompted Rocky Mountain News columnist Mike Littwin to inquire if Sam Walton had any marriageable daughters left.

Issel’s reward was to hear Kroenke heap praise on Pierre Lacroix, the general manager of the Avalanche, Kroenke’s NHL team, while announcing Issel had this season to prove himself.

Kroenke reportedly has a replacement in mind, Cincinnati Coach Bob Huggins (which may be why Huggins rejected the Clippers last summer). Huggins would have the advantage of being the only authority figure who ever broke through to the other Nugget co-captain, Nick Van Exel, when Van Exel was at Cincy.

In better times, the players joked about Issel. They did impressions, holding their breath until their faces were red and the veins in their temples bulged. Then Issel went from tense to bonkers.

Issel still has two more seasons left as general manager and coach. Huggins is in the middle of his season and off the market, at least until summer.

Not that the job may not be there, because the West has about 10 teams better and bigger--not to mention more stable--than the Nuggets.

Kroenke, who actually started this, ducked the press but told the players Issel is safe . . . for the rest of the season.

Gee, thanks.

“He wants Dan to relax and coach and not worry about next year,” McCloud said of the meeting. “And he wants us to relax and play and not worry about the circus that we, as a team, have surrounded ourselves with.”

Good luck.

Issel, himself a member of the Denver media (kind of) as host of a radio talk show, is fuming that the press is out to get him, blasting Spears on the air. That, at least, is good news for LaFrentz.

If this circus, er, team doesn’t right itself, Kroenke may still ax Issel and make assistant John Lucas, who at least gets along with everyone, interim coach.

In the book, Bligh sailed the dinghy more than 3,000 miles to what’s now Indonesia then made his way back to England.

Unfortunately for Issel, they’re keeping him aboard.

FACES AND FIGURES

Like the Allies at Dunkirk, Rick Pitino looks as if he’s waiting for his ride. The doomed Boston coach, who told his players he’d quit after a rout by the 76ers two weeks ago, was all but speechless after the Celtics lost at home--by 18--to the Bulls. Of course, he zinged the crowd for booing his players and his players for stinking the joint up, but the next day, in a rare concession to reality, Pitino mused, “Maybe we’re just not good enough.” Said Pitino of his possible departure, “I think the fans would like change because of the fact that we haven’t done it and I’ve got no problem with it. Change is hope.” The Celtics, who played 15 of their first 22 at home, are on the road for 21 of the next 34. Before that’s over, Pitino’s lawyer should be deep into settlement talks with owner Paul Gaston.

Toronto center Antonio Davis, who’ll be a free agent, is building a house in Orlando but says he’s open to staying. However, he says he’ll ask Vince Carter what he intends to do when he’s free in 2003. If Davis winds up leaving this summer, insiders say it won’t look good for keeping Carter. . . . Pep Talks ‘R’ Us: First Michael Jordan fired the Wizards up with a speech, after which they blew a 20-point lead and lost at home to the Clippers. Then last week, majority owner Abe Pollin brought in motivational guru Tony Robbins to talk to them, after which, they lost by 20 at home to the 76ers. Good thing they got to hear Robbins. Think how bad the 76ers might have beaten them, otherwise.

Maybe they thought no one would notice: The horrified Cavaliers tried to keep Shawn Kemp’s huge weight gain out of the papers by not discussing it last season, but behind the scenes, it was a scandal. Bimbo Coles, who was in Atlanta, says he wouldn’t sign with Cleveland until he was assured Kemp wouldn’t be back. “The players know what’s going on around the league,” Coles said. “He’s a great player and I don’t want to bad-mouth him, but that’s how I felt.”

Charlotte Coach Paul Silas wants Derrick Coleman gone, but General Manager Bob Bass, who signed Coleman to a five-year, $40-million deal, isn’t killing himself to get it done. Making his point, Silas put Coleman on the injured list to lose weight and get in shape. Now with Coleman close to returning, Silas just stripped him of his captaincy. . . . USC’s Brian Scalabrine was a dark-horse prospect a year ago but he’s in the light now. “I know Michael likes him a lot,” Wizard scout Walter Davis told the Orange County Register. “I like his knowledge of the game. I like how he can go inside or outside. But most of all, his knowledge sets him apart because there aren’t too many players now who know how to play the game.”

Second, third, fourth opinions: The 76ers’ Matt Geiger sat out five games because of a sore hip on the recent Western trip while several teammates played hurt. Geiger, returning with no points in four minutes last week, said after consulting an acupuncturist, a chiropractor and a massage therapist, he learned he didn’t have tendinitis but a “hip misalignment.” Teammates are now muttering he should consult a shrink to see if his head is misaligned.