Night of the Hundred Valentinos

CONCEPT: “Valentino Takes L.A.,” hosted by Rita Wilson, Tom Hanks, Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg at the Pacific Design Center to benefit the Children’s Action Network.

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LA DOLCE VITA: “I’ve been kissed by chance and I’ve been helped by my talent, too,” Signore Valentino reflects amid all the giddy fabulousness of his rooftop soiree. How else to explain half of Europe and all of Hollywood turning out to sip Bellinis and heap adulation upon the venerable designer like blankets on a shock victim? While the evening doesn’t exactly go off without a hitch--a small fire breaks out on the dance floor, Naomi stumbles on the runway, and actress Rachel Leigh Cook is “stressed because I can’t put my phone on vibrate”--the loyal Valentino tribe parties until late, and the Children’s Action Network nets almost a quarter of a mil. “I don’t think there’s a woman who doesn’t feel more like a woman wearing a Valentino, and there isn’t a man who feels either more or less like a man wearing Valentino, depending on his proclivities,” Hanks says, introducing the honoree for whom hyperbole had been exhausted dozens of spring collections ago. “Ladies and gentlemen, the man with only one name . . . “

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HEY, I’M WEARING HIM, TOO: The fashion show seems superfluous considering that many who are present have been issued something from the archives. “I thought there couldn’t be enough Valentino dresses to go around, but they set me up,” says “Sex in the City’s” Kristen Davis in a tight gold creation. Charlize Theron slinks through in a black sleeveless late-model number; Claudia Schiffer is barely contained in a creamy vintage loaner. Et tu, Ellen? “Yep,” DeGeneres says of her mocha turtleneck and suede pants. The maestro prowls the hall policing his designs. “I just cut the straps of me shoes,” frets Elizabeth Hurley, who arrives accessorized with Dennis Leary. “Valentino’s got an eagle eye. He’s going to smack me when he sees.” With Hanks, Spielberg and Christian Slater also attired in loaners, the only couture-free zone is the couch where rocker dudes Anthony Keidis and Billy Corgan hang out. “I couldn’t tell you what his stuff looked like,” says Keidis, wearing off-the-rack. “And truth be told, I don’t even know what the charity function is.”

WHATS THE SCORE?

Celeb Quotient: Throngs of MAWs (Model/Actres/Whatever) plus plenty of top-tier players.

Wow Factor: Some, uh, great fabric here.

Chow: Superb buffet of lamb chops, roast duck, spinach ravioli and Italian ices. Aren’t you girls having any?