Final Week Is Four-Gone Conclusion

By MIKE PENNER

Dec. 22, 2000 12 AM PT

LAST-CHANCE GANG

Seven teams begin the final week of the regular season angling for the three remaining playoff berths. Rating their prospects--or why the Steelers, at 8-7, have a better chance of sneaking in than the 9-6 Jets and the reigning Super Bowl champion Rams:

MIAMI DOLPHINS

Will qualify if: They win at New England.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: Annual December swoon in full bloom. Began the month with consecutive home games against Tampa Bay and Indianapolis, lost them both.

Will they make it? Probably, although don’t bet the bungalow on it. The Dolphins are 1-4 in their last five games at Foxboro, one a playoff defeat in 1998.

NEW YORK JETS

Will qualify if: They win at Baltimore and Dolphins lose.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: Overachieved for three months, finally hit the wall in Week 15. Haven’t scored more than a touchdown in their last two games, both defeats, being outscored, 41-14.

Will they make it? Funny, no Jets are boldly predicting victory over Baltimore this time around. Ravens have too much to play for--setting the league record for fewest points allowed in a 16-game season, tying the league record for most shutouts in a season, winning the AFC Central title--as well as the home-field advantage. This time next week, Giants will have New York’s undivided attention.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

Will qualify if: They defeat Minnesota at home and either the Dolphins or the Jets lose.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: Went 1-4 between Halloween and Dec. 3, left for dead, performed self-resuscitation with victories over Buffalo and Miami.

Will they make it? Bad news: Vikings need to win to have a chance at NFC home-field advantage. Good news: Jets need a Namathesque miracle to beat Baltimore. Better news: Daunte Culpepper has a sprained ankle, meaning Bubby Brister could get the start for Minnesota. Jim Mora gets another chance to go 0-1 in the playoffs.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Will qualify if: They win at San Diego and the Colts and the Jets lose.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: Stewart-Graham not Bradshaw-Hanratty.

Will they make it? Steelers beat the Chargers? Should happen. Jets lose to the Ravens? Should happen. Colts lose to the Vikings? Could happen. Three playoff teams from the AFC Central? We can’t have this happen.

DETROIT LIONS

Will qualify if: They defeat Chicago at home or St. Louis loses at New Orleans and Green Bay loses to or ties Tampa Bay.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: Predicament? What predicament? The Rams have Kurt Warner, the Lions have Charlie Batch; the Rams have Marshall Faulk, the Lions have James Stewart; the Rams go 1-2 down the stretch, the Lions can make the playoffs ahead of the Rams by beating 4-11 Chicago at the Silverdome. In greater Michigan, they have a phrase for this: Christmas Comes Early.

Will they make it? If they lose to Shane Matthews, shame on them.

ST. LOUIS RAMS

Will qualify if: They win at New Orleans and the Lions lose or tie.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: The winners of Super Bowl XXXIV started 6-0, will finish with more than 500 points and, very likely, will miss the playoffs. This is what happens when the defending champions stop defending.

Will they make it? Suddenly, it’s Anaheim 1991 all over again. Rams spend the playoffs at home, watching NFC West champion New Orleans host a first-round game.

GREEN BAY PACKERS

Will qualify if: They defeat Tampa Bay at home and the Rams and the Lions lose.

Why they find themselves in this predicament: October defeats by Chicago, Detroit and Miami. Also known in Wisconsin as Oktoberbust.

Will they make it? They should take care of their end; the Packers are 11-0 at home against Tampa Bay since 1989 and the Buccaneers have never won a game played in weather colder than 40 degrees. The Saints should also take care of the Rams. But the Bears, doing the archrival Packers a favor? With that offense? Antonio, you’re a Free man after Sunday.

SUPER BOWLS TO CHEER AND LOATHE

Matchups still possible for Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa--rated from five stars on down for potential entertainment value:

* * * * * RAMS-RAIDERS

If only for the perverse fascination. And the where-are-they-now profiles on Jim Everett and Rusty Hilger.

* * * * * GIANTS-JETS

The Subway Super Bowl. Roger Clemens selected for the ceremonial coin toss, flings it against Wayne Chrebet’s shin.

* * * * RAMS-TITANS

The Longest Yard, The Sequel

* * * * EAGLES-STEELERS

Penn State gets its bowl game after all.

* * * 1/2 BUCCANEERS-DOLPHINS

Docked half a star for inevitable deluge of hanging-chad jokes.

* * * PACKERS-COLTS

Great old-school NFL rivalry, updated from Unitas-Starr to Manning-Favre.

* * * GIANTS-COLTS

Same two franchises that met in the 1958 NFL championship game, widely considered the greatest pro football game ever played. Except now, one franchise calls New Jersey home, the other Indianapolis.

* * * BUCCANEERS-JETS

Keyshawn versus the Jets. Vinny versus the Bucs. Big stuff in New York, but will it play outside Tampa?

* * VIKINGS-RAVENS

Tampa hosts Purple People Eaters’ convention.

* * VIKINGS-DOLPHINS

Vikings try to avenge second Super Bowl loss.

* * VIKINGS-STEELERS

Vikings try to avenge third Super Bowl loss.

* * VIKINGS-RAIDERS

Vikings try to avenge fourth Super Bowl loss.

* * EAGLES-RAIDERS

Twenty-year anniversary of Pete Rozelle handing off to Al Davis in the most uncomfortable trophy presentation ever.