Itinerary: Millennium Schmillennium

Last year’s soured millennium activities almost killed the holiday that isNew Year’s. The hype and the price-gouging put a damper on an already expensive holiday. A few big-name acts had a tasty slice of humble pie and found out there is a limit to what even the most adoring fan will pay to see an idol. Instead of making $100 an hour plus tips, bartenders and waiters were sent home. Events were canceled at the last minute due to lack of sales.

The good news: That was last year. We’ve been given a second millennium chance. Join the purists who feel that the true millennium celebrations should have been this year anyway, and do it again--only better.

First, don’t take the whole thing so seriously. Put the evening in perspective. Remember that for some, it’s merely an event to fit around bowl games.

If you had a swell year, chill the pricier bubbly and share it. If 2000 was rocky, find someone who’s sharing. Spend Saturday cleaning out career cobwebs or rearranging furniture. On New Year’s Eve, do something that makes you laugh. Meet 2001 with a sense of humor.

Friday

Because New Year’s Day falls on a Monday, many people will pace themselves over the weekend and save their partying for Sunday night. This means you may find access to hot clubs a little less daunting tonight. Pick up a copy of Shecky’s Bar Club and Lounge Guide Los Angeles ($9.95) at your neighborhood bookstore. The irreverent listings are a hoot and include the addresses of clubs that don’t want you to find them. Even Skybar (at the Mondrian Hotel, 8440 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, [323] 848-6025)] will let you in if it’s a slow night.

Saturday

Before you welcome in 2001, pay homage to the old by visiting one of L.A.’s kitschy legendary restaurants. Do lunch at El Coyote (7312 Beverly Blvd., L.A., [323] 939-2255). Sure, there may be better Mexican restaurants, but Sharon Tate ate her last meal at El Coyote. Back when Jack Nicholson was a bad boy and Warren Beatty was single, El Coyote was the scene of many celebrity shenanigans. Things have quieted down considerably since the ‘70s, but rest assured that the margaritas and chile rellenos haven’t changed a bit. El Coyote also provides something long forgotten in this part of town--a parking lot.

In my family, sauerkraut is a traditional New Year’s meal. To partake, visit the campy Lowenbrau-Keller (3211 Beverly Blvd., L.A., [213] 382-5723) for all things German. The restaurant is a wonderland of hunting lodge artifacts: cherubs, suits of armor, deer heads, gilded picture frames and frothy brew served by a wait staff dressed in yodel-worthy attire. If your New Year’s resolution is to diet, a sausage and potato plate at Lowenbrau is a great last meal.

Polish off the evening at the iconic Improv (8162 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood, [323] 651-2583). Although the comedy scene is not as hot as it was years ago (today’s comics seem to be more interested in landing lucrative sitcoms than playing to real people for peanuts), Budd Friedman’s hangout is still the place to laugh and be laughed at.

Sunday

Looking to avoid tonight’s Guy Lombardo-esque scene? Head to “2001 an Earth Odyssey” (7 p.m., Church in Ocean Park, 235 S. Hill St., Santa Monica, [310] 399-1000, $40; low income, $20.01). The Alliance for Survival benefit will feature comedian-attorney Kenny Kahn and the Gary Gordon Real Millennium Band. The admission price includes a buffet and champagne.

Or, to truly demonstrate your disdain for the whole party mentality, check out Southern Culture on the Skids Night at the Knitting Factory Hollywood, (7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, [323] 463-0204; $35, or $55 with dinner). The Skids will perform, and a white trash beauty contest will be held, with contestants showing off their lack of poise.