Jordan Needs to Air Out His New Team

Woody Paige in the Denver Post:

“If I’m Michael Jordan, the new president of operations and part owner of the Washington Wizards, the first important move I make is to sign Michael Jordan, the best basketball player of the 20th century--and all previous centuries combined.

“Then I give free agent Dennis Rodman a contract, trade for Scottie Pippen, entice Magic Johnson out of retirement, put Bugs Bunny at shooting guard and hire Dean Smith as coach.

“And I tell Juwan Howard, Mitch Richmond and Rod Strickland to take a long walk on a short pier.

“Otherwise, His Airness has about a good a chance of transforming the Wizards as he does of being elected into the baseball, golf and blackjack halls of fame.”

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More Jordan: Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “And the Washington Whatevers assume that because Jordan is the greatest performer in basketball history that he will be the greatest executive as well.

“This is as preposterous as hiring someone to build the Panama Canal just because he is able to jump over it.”

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Trade me now: Jordan plans to practice with the Wizards in order to evaluate the players.

“Goodness,” says Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times, “can you imagine the terror in, say, rookie Richard Hamilton’s eyes when the trainer tells him, ‘Mr. Jordan would like to see you on the court.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Super Bowl record for the most games as the losing coach?

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No way: Fox Sports Net’s Keith Olbermann, on protesters demanding the Atlanta Braves punish pitcher John Rocker: “Like you’re going to get social action from a company that owns WCW wrestling and a baseball team that’s been insulting Native Americans since 1912.”

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Might be true: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “A tale of college football from Hy Booth of Foster City: A coach’s prized recruit couldn’t pass his entrance exams. The coach took him to the dean and said: ‘Can you give him an oral exam?’ Dean: ‘Yes. Sit down, young man. How much is seven times seven?’

“Recruit: ‘I think it’s 49.’ The coach jumped up and said, ‘Come on, dean, give him another chance.’ ”

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Resting place: Fidel Castro paid a brief visit Saturday to former soccer superstar Diego Maradona, hair dyed orange and blond, who chose to do his cocaine rehabilitation in Havana.

A Castro friend and admirer, Maradona, 39, has praised “the dignity of the Cuban revolution” and said if he didn’t trust Cuban medicine, “I wouldn’t be here.”

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Worth a look: Pine Valley in New Jersey is generally considered the finest golf course in the country, perhaps the world. When British Walker Cup player Edward Storey first saw the opening hole, he said:

“Tell me, do you chaps actually play the hole, or do you just photograph it?”

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Trivia answer: Minnesota’s Bud Grant, Baltimore and Miami’s Don Shula, Denver and Atlanta’s Dan Reeves, and Buffalo’s Marv Levy, each with four.

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And finally: The New York Mets are considering bringing Garth Brooks to spring training. Brooks, who hit .045 for the San Diego Padres last spring has talked to the Mets about joining them.

The 37-year-old country music star also is considering the New York Yankees, a baseball official said on the condition he not be identified. Comment: good thinking.