Not All Teens Call This Music

Last year was a horrible year for music in general. Teeny-bopper music, a genre characterized by whining 21-year-old voices accompanied by cheesy beats from a drum machine and chord progressions from the 1980s, ruled the airwaves. The overwhelming airplay of teeny-bopper music that everybody knew was just a fad and would go away didn’t go away. In fact, the inescapable pain forced upon our ears from groups such as ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys was exacerbated by even more additions to the mind-numbing genre, such as Christina Aguilera and Mandy Moore.

Why are the music charts being overrun by this music that seems to lack any sense of depth or originality? Ask a teenage girl why she likes 98 Degrees, and there’s a good chance she will reply, “Because they are hot!” However, it’s hard to fathom how a group can get to the top of the charts based on looks alone, so there must be some people out there who appreciate their music. And it’s certainly possible to market something so intensely that people are practically forced to buy it (Pokemon, anyone?).

This is surely what the music industry has been doing with these acts. They fit into a perfect marketing formula: Mix some good looks with some cloying lyrics and voila! You’ve got the highest-grossing act of the year. It’s understandable why the music industry supports driveling acts like these. It just wants to make as much money as possible.

The music industry, however, has crossed the line with the nominees for the 42nd annual Grammy Awards. The Grammy is one of the most distinguished awards in the entertainment business. It’s right up there with the Oscars and the Emmys. This venerable award has been given to such legends as the Beatles and Bob Dylan.

This year, however, the list of nominees doesn’t seem to be so legendary. A slew of nominations for acts like Britney Spears, Ricky Martin and the Backstreet Boys (who managed to pick up nominations for album and record of the year) are splattered across the list. The most distinguished award given for musical ingenuity and originality are being awarded to acts that have the originality of a doorknob.

As I said, 1999 was a horrible year for music in general, so these acts didn’t have much competition. Maybe a new category can be made for Best Elevator Music. Then we can all be happy.