Honestly, Shouldn’t MTA Know Better?

As an assault on Honest Abe’s good name, it doesn’t quite measure up to the Lincoln Savings scandal. But the display is unsightly nevertheless: a red stripe drawn through his visage at MTA ticket machines, indicating that the new $5 bills aren’t accepted (see photo).

A spokesman explained that the U.S. Treasury introduced the new Abes earlier than expected and the MTA didn’t have time to adjust the machines. The plan is to have the situation remedied by the end of summer.

But can’t we remove the red stripe so that Lincoln doesn’t resemble some sort of disreputable character?

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UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT: Magdalen Ducsay couldn’t help but laugh over the language on a response card alert she received from a book club (see accompanying).

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“DUH!” WINNER: With beach weather here, I pass along this somewhat common-sensical warning that Frank Grabert of Twentynine Palms noticed (see accompanying).

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STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE: Continuing the discussion of the mysterious IR4USC vanity plate, Heidi Birker of Studio City pointed out it might not be ungrammatical at all. “Perhaps it indicates ‘ire’ for that particular campus, probably from another road-raged UCLA driver,” she theorized.

A reader who identified himself only as Tom noted that “IR” might be the plate holder’s initials.

Lloyd Peyton, of Silver Lake, pointed out that UCLA fans seem to have more plates ripping their crosstown rival than USC fans have attacking UCLA.

“Isn’t that the sign of a huge, huge inferiority complex (on the part of UCLA)?” asked Peyton, a USC grad whose plate proclaims: NUTY4SC.

And to any “snide Bruin” who “would quarrel with only one T in my plate,” Peyton pointed out that “a paucity of space [on the plates] forces many folks to super-abbreviate.”

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GUERRILLA PROOFREADER’S REPORT: Some wondrous combinations of letters of the alphabet spotted in print:

* An athlete who was kicked off a team after a campus arrest on a “breach of peach” charge. (Submitted by Jon Los)

* A suspect who robbed a “connivance store.” (Chris Knight)

* A couple who took “their wedding vowels in front of an automated teller machine where they first met nine years ago.” (Sharon Autry) Asked Autry: “Were the vowels IOU?”

* A cleaning service that advertised, “Daily, Weekly & Monthly . . . Lice & Ins.” (Carol Moran)

* A prep school that offers “oppertunities” in the arts. (Jessica Feldman)

And, finally:

* An embroiderer who won a prize for her “cruel work.” (Marvin Haas)

It should be “crewel.”

OK, I had to look it up myself.

miscelLAny:

Maybe the obsession with exercise and healthful eating is paying off for Southern Californians. At least that’s the conclusion you could draw from the signs at Edison Field in Anaheim. They warn that prospective beer buyers “under 40” should be prepared to show an I.D. to prove they’re 21.

Honest Abe.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.