Athletes Need to Make the Responsible Decision

On the the witness stand Tuesday in Atlanta, Ravens all-pro linebacker Ray Lewis said, “I lied on that statement. I just know I lied. That’s why I’m in the situation I’m in now.”

Two days earlier, in another part of Atlanta, Braves pitcher John Rocker confronted the Sports Illustrated reporter whose tape-recorded conversation has caused the pitcher so much trouble. “This isn’t over between us,” Rocker reportedly said to Jeff Pearlman. “Do you know what I can do to you?”

Lewis gets it. Rocker still doesn’t understand. That’s why Lewis’s troubles finally may be ending while Rocker’s woes, hard as it is to believe, keep getting worse.

The Lewis and Rocker incidents are enormously different. Murder charges were dropped against Lewis, who is now giving state’s evidence against two friends. He lied, he says, to keep himself from being placed at the scene of a crime. Rocker merely made a fool of himself with a stream of prejudiced comments. Nonetheless, both cases illustrate the same point-one that keeps popping up in sports.

When people get in deep water, they need to come to terms with their degree of responsibility. Or the water gets deeper. Occasionally, someone is completely guilty or innocent. But most problems are more complex. That’s when our response, our ability to say, “A lot of this is my fault,” becomes crucial. It helps us understand the harsh views of others. If you only see it your own way, you create a new problem.

Lewis seems to have grasped that, even though he is not guilty of murder, he was still a principle creator of his own nightmare. He was not only in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people, he also lied to the police in a murder case. If you want big trouble, that’ll fetch it every time. That’s why Lewis has been through a living hell for five months: “I lied. That’s why I’m in the situation I’m in now.”

In a prepared statement, Lewis added, “I feel I have been vindicated of the false charges of murder . . . but I am absolutely not celebrating because two people died here in Atlanta, and I was a witness,” he said in a prepared statement.

When Lewis reports to Ravens camp today, he’ll begin reassembling his life. Provided he doesn’t start to backslide, that is. If he begins to see himself as a victim, an innocent man forced to stand trial and see his reputation damaged, his troubles may not disappear.

But if he says to himself, “I was a fool to be doing what I was doing. I was even crazier to lie about it. And I’m lucky I got off as lightly as I did,” then he may be surprised how quickly this horror recedes from public view. Nobody wants to beat him up-provided he makes it clear he’s learned his lesson.

Of course, Rocker also said the right words and read the same sort of perfectly correct public statement after his bigoted quotes had managed to insult virtually everybody in America. It’s how you act afterward that matters. That’s the tip-off to whether you believe what you read. And that’s where Rocker has failed.

Within a week of returning from a brief suspension for his comments, Rocker came off as cocky, defiant and unrepentant. He focused on ovations he’s received and interpreted them as exoneration, not mere second-chance forgiveness. He even saw himself as a hounded victim. Recently, a chilling piece of video showed him pretending to hang himself in the bullpen. Twitching at the end of an imaginary rope may be a sick ballplayer gag. But it shows Rocker thinks he’s been lynched.

Americans can’t agree unanimously on whether the sun is out. But Rocker’s original comments came pretty close to eliciting a universal response: outrage. Over the past 150 years, this country has fought wars-physical, legal and moral-over these topics. As a nation, we’ve decided we stand for tolerance, not bigotry. And a relief pitcher thinks he can turn back the clock on all that? Or treat it as a joke?

Now Rocker has topped himself. He’s blamed the person who quoted him-accurately. Instead of threatening Pearlman, Rocker ought to jump up and down on that back-stabbing tape-recorder. How dare it get every single word right.

Until this week, you could find people who’d still cut Rocker some slack, if only out of pity. He’s young. Or he thought he was making a joke. Or he was mad at Mets fans. Or he’s self-destructive. Or he has other issues, so this was just a symptom of deeper problems and, perhaps, a bizarre cry for help.

Now he’s gone beyond yet another imaginary line. Brian Jordan of the Braves called him “a cancer.” Braves executive Hank Aaron, who endured so much racist hate mail during his pursuit of Babe Ruth’s home run record, agreed publicly with that choice of words. Previous Braves supporters like Tom Glavine, who asked that Rocker be given the benefit of the doubt, won’t comment in his defense anymore. The Braves confirm Rocker has had other tirades at reporters this spring.

All this just adds fuel to the fire. And increases the odds of a sad ending. Rocker, whose pitching has fallen apart, too, has been sent to the minor league Richmond Braves. To the delight of his tormentors.

Rocker has only one way out. But it’s the hard way. In fact, it’s the same tormenting, soul-searing path toward the light that Bobby Knight must follow if he’s to save his career. They have to understand-and really digest-that their critics are actually their friends. Does it get much rougher than that?

Rocker has to accept responsibility for his words, just as Knight has to take responsibility for his anger. Free speech doesn’t protect Rocker from the consequences of foul speech. Just as being a great basketball coach no longer protects Knight from the consequences of uncivilized behavior.

There’s a strong case that Rocker and Knight need professional counseling to manage such a life-shaking change of perspective. Alone, we all tend to fall prey to rationalizations. Amid the complexity of our motives and our sense of ourselves as basically decent, we let ourselves off the hook. Which only makes us angrier at those we see as our tormentors. Thus a vicious cycle is reinforced.

Just the opposite process is needed. But it’s not one we see very much in sports. The more you get in touch with what you did wrong and the damage it caused, then the easier it is to forgive or a least forget what others have done to you.