New Fathers’ Day Dawns Thanks to Law

Five-year-old Madison Solem-Kuehl rounded first base after hitting the ball off the tee. She skidded to a stop, walked impishly back to the bag, turned to her father, Dean, sitting in the stands and, with a smile on her face, gave him a thumbs-up.

“Oh yeah,” Dean said. “She’s proud of herself . . . that’s her sign to let us know that she feels she has done a good job.”

On Sunday, Dean will celebrate Father’s Day with Madison and his two sons Chase, 7, and Brandon, 8. But the celebration won’t be his alone. Madison, Brandon and Chase celebrate the day with both parents because both are men.

Loren and Dean Solem-Kuehl of La Palma, an openly gay couple, adopted siblings Brandon and Chase in 1994.

“When we first decided to adopt we made the decision not to be secretive about our sexuality,” Loren said.

Dean, 42, a Beverly Hills cosmetologist, and Loren, 37, a licensed marriage and family therapist for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services, were foster parents before they adopted Brandon and Chase.

Although there is an overwhelming need of homes for abandoned, neglected or abused children, many states do not allow homosexuals to adopt. But in recent years it has been made easier, including in California.

Under a policy devised during Gov. George Deukmejian’s administration, same-sex couples had more difficulty adopting than mixed-gender couples. Under the policy, the Department of Social Services would recommended to the courts that unmarried couples not be able to adopt. The policy was continued under Gov. Pete Wilson.

But Loren and Dean found a way to realize their dream to have a family. First they had to go through a co-adoption process. One became the legal parent of the child. The couple’s lawyer then petitioned the courts to allow the second parent equal custody rights. The process cost the Solem-Kuehls thousands of dollars over the years.

“We were always on pins and needles with the child [care] workers,” Loren said. “Not because we were worried they would find out we were gay, but because they had the power to take away our children if they had a personal problem with our being gay.”

Last November Gov. Gray Davis overturned the policy, calling it illegal. Homosexual couples can now adopt a child in California without becoming embroiled in a legal red tape Loren and Dean know only too well.

“It was a costly cycle,” Loren said. “But we’re now in the process of finalizing the co-adoption.”

The couple went through extensive training that taught them about having children in their home, what problems may occur and techniques to help them handle parenting.

“Most people think if they roll their children out to a few activities then they are being good parents,” Dean said. “But that’s not enough. You have to spend quality time with them.”

The family is involved in the La Palma community, the boys play soccer and basketball when they’re not playing football and Madison will enroll in tap dance and ballet classes this summer.

“Having a baby is just having a baby,” Loren said. “Raising a child the right way is the important part of parenting.”

Andre Briscoe can be reached at (714) 966-5848.