CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1. Oklahoma (9-0) Three more wins and QB Josh Heupel can start striking the pose (Heisman).

2. Miami (8-1) Jimmy Johnson advises Butch Davis to buy a boat and consider the Alabama job.

3. Florida State (9-1) Weinke may file discrimination suit if he loses Heisman because of his age (28).

4. Oregon (9-1) Ducks load last of dried goods on wagon for 50-mile wagon train to Corvallis.

5. Washington (9-1) Ah, what are the chances of us losing to Washington State?

6. Florida (9-1) A-Rod tells Spurrier he should have held out for free use of a hydro-plane.

7. Oregon State (9-1) Terry Baker says he may have one or two good runs left in him.

8. Virginia Tech (9-1) Alabama trustees schedule an obligatory houndstooth-hat fitting for Frank Beamer.

9. Notre Dame (7-2) BCS bowl prospects: Next two opponents, Rutgers and USC, are a combined 1-12 in conference games.

10. Ohio State (8-2) If Cooper beats Michigan he can change his vanity plates to 3-9-1.

11. Kansas State (9-2) Rankman calls TV repair man to fix “snow” seen on screen during Nebraska game.

12. Texas (8-2) Doctor says massive wounds from historic Oklahoma loss coming along nicely.

13. Nebraska (8-2) Ripley’s headline out of Lincoln last week: “Osborne wins in landslide, Nebraska loses.”

14. Clemson (8-2) Money-wise, Bowden says turning around a sad-sack program is better than winning the lottery.

15. Mississippi State (7-2) No way Sherrill takes Alabama job unless, of course, “Momma calls.”

16. Auburn (8-2) Can’t wait for chilling conclusion of “How the SEC West was won.”

17. Purdue (7-3) “What are the odds we’ll choke the Rose Bowl away again this weekend, Northwestern?”

18. Northwestern (7-3) “We don’t talk odds around here anymore, but I’d say it’s about even money.”

19. Texas Christian (8-1) Rankman predicts a possible misstep against Texas El Paso.

20. Michigan (7-3) Citizens of Columbus bow heads as conquerors from north enter city gates.

21. Texas A&M; (7-3) Rankman disapproves of T-shirts depicting loss to Sooners as “Okie Chokie.”

22. Georgia Tech (7-2) School prepares party favors as team seeks 600th win (not all this season).

23. South Carolina (7-3) Holtz awakens from nightmare screaming, “We led Florida, 21-3!”

24. San Jose State (7-3) Wins over Stanford and TCU this year earn school sponsor’s exemption to this week’s poll.

25. Toledo (9-1) Can’t justify keeping Bob’s team here, but give it up for the red-hot Rockets.