Can Any More Sap Be Squeezed Out of Olympics?

Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News has some gripes about the Olympic Games:

“It isn’t the tape delay that is annoying, although it is. It is the syrup all over the tape. As far as I know there there has not been a medal winner yet who has not (a) overcome a childhood disease, (b) contemplated suicide or (c) been mugged in the Moscow subway.

“Every boxer has been in the slammer--and is sorry--every kayaker has survived the “Poseidon Adventure,” and every gymnast can fit into the overhead bin.

“I’m waiting for confirmation that each archer has saved at least one orphan by nailing a charging rhino with one shot [tranquilizer dart, of course].”

Trivia time: Who won the men’s 100 meters when the Olympic Games were held in Los Angeles in 1932?

Take your choice: Ed Sherman of the Chicago Tribune, commenting on Australian TV and NBC’s coverage of the Olympics:

“For Australian television viewers, the athletic competition is the thing, as events take precedence. What a novel concept! NBC is the polar opposite. It’s almost as if the events serve as a mere complement to the stories that go with them.

“Australian TV is like eating cheese pizza every night, hardly the most exciting thing in the world. NBC’s coverage is a pizza with 30 different toppings, so much that you don’t even know you’re eating pizza.”

The real drama: Jeff Gordon in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “With pitcher Jose Lima of the Houston Astros allowing home runs at a record pace, Jayson Stark of ESPN.com wondered why fans and media members haven’t been going crazy about the quest.

“Astros broadcaster Jim Deshaies, a former big-league pitcher, saw merit in the argument. ‘Shouldn’t fans be streaming through the gates early to watch Jose throw on the side, the way they did to watch [Mark] McGwire take batting practice?’ ”

Tuning out: Jim Rome on his Fox Sports program asked “Monday Night Football” radio analyst Boomer Esiason what he thinks about ABC putting a non-football guy, Dennis Miller, in the television booth.

Esiason, who lost his Monday night TV job, said: “Well, that’s why I’m doing radio, so I don’t have to listen to it.”

On his own: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Are Indiana fans getting soft? IU president Myles Brand said only a couple dozen of the 4,000 e-mails he got after firing Bobby Knight had to be turned over to the police.

“Asked who his closest advisor was as he made his decision, Brand told the Indianapolis News, ‘The Dalai Lama wasn’t in town. I didn’t know who to turn to.’ ”

Trivia answer: Eddie Tolan in a virtual dead heat with Ralph Metcalfe. Both were clocked in the world-record time of 10.3 seconds.

And finally: PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem, on Tiger Woods: “Tiger’s popularity has moved us into a position where the sport is now actively competing in popularity with some of the major team sports.”