Rose Bowl Is Still Awaiting a Team

Yeah, yeah, we know, you readers ought to be able to turn to the national college football writer in December and get answers.

You think this is easy?

Once, bowl deals were locked up with handshakes in September while the Heisman Trophy engraver sometimes got tipped off weeks before Thanksgiving.

Not now.

In fact, after a weekend in which the four marquee games were decided by a total of nine points, almost nothing has been clarified.

In this changing landscape, it is only known for sure that the Big East Conference is headed West and Notre Dame has gone South.

The regular season was supposed to be over by now, but events of Sept. 11 pushed its conclusion into next weekend, when Louisiana State and Tennessee meet for the Southeastern Conference championship in Atlanta while Brigham Young takes its case to the islands with a chance to go 13-0 with a win at Hawaii.

If you want cold hard facts, read the Wall Street Journal.

Here, with minor exceptions, we don’t know Jack.

* We do know Miami’s hurricane season, which according to the fabulous and omniscient Weather Channel officially ended Dec. 1, has been extended to Jan. 3.

Barring an insidious outbreak of computer virus “RoyKramer,” next Sunday’s final bowl championship series standings will spit out Miami as the nation’s No. 1 team.

Miami is the cut-above choice, even if it needed a fluke interception off a cornerback’s knee to beat Boston College and a Virginia Tech receiver to drop a two-point conversion pass Saturday to secure passage to Pasadena.

* We know Nebraska, momentum-charged after giving up a school-record 62 points to Colorado, has a better chance of winning the national championship than the Big 12 champion (Colorado) or the league’s runner-up (Texas). Hmm, maybe the Big 12 should go over its bylaws.

* We know Texas must be seething at Oklahoma for choking against Oklahoma State and handing the Big 12 South crown to the Longhorns, who had to forfeit a sure Sugar Bowl bid by losing to Colorado in the conference title game.

We know this disastrous Big 12 South championship crowning--picture grown Texans bawling their eyes out at the ring ceremony--also re-opened the wound of Chris Simms versus Major Applewhite.

Applewhite, owner of 40 school passing records, nearly rescued Texas from Simms’ hideous performance against Colorado and now deserves to start his last game as a Longhorn, probably in the Holiday Bowl.

Southwest cuisine in Austin now goes by a new name: Tex Mess.

What we don’t know:

* Who will play Miami in the Rose Bowl. The second spot is dangling out there like several participles in this story; it’s a three-way race involving Tennessee, Oregon and Nebraska.

Tennessee’s fate is as straight and stiff as a swig of jug whiskey. Although the Volunteers were No. 6 in last week’s BCS standings, their victory at No. 2 Florida should vault them ahead of Oregon and Nebraska into the No. 2 BCS position behind Miami.

A victory against LSU next week in the SEC title game all but clinches the second Rose Bowl spot for Tennessee. No problem, right? Tennessee already has won at LSU this season. Wrong, because rematches in the college game are home wreckers.

Florida State found out in 1996 when it beat Florida in the regular season before getting rug-burned at the Superdome in the national title game. And Texas need not be reminded, losing to Colorado last weekend after easily winning the first game, 41-7.

So, if Tennessee loses to LSU, the second Rose Bowl spot becomes a potentially contentious BCS points battle between Nebraska and Oregon.

With Texas out, today’s BCS standings should look like this: Miami, Tennessee, Oregon or Nebraska.

Nebraska held a 0.39 lead over Oregon last week, so the question now is whether the Ducks’ win over Oregon State will be enough to jump idle Nebraska.

The No. 3 BCS spot behind Miami-Tennessee is critical in the event of a Tennessee loss to LSU.

* The major bowl picture: You’d be better of going to a palm reader (we’d recommend Jerry Palm, a math whiz with a Web site who has a strange fascination with all things BCS) to get a better read.

Like a new car dealer, we can only confer with our manager and offer you options.

The Rose Bowl will be Miami versus Tennessee, Oregon or Nebraska.

The Fiesta Bowl will be Oregon vs. Colorado unless Oregon goes to the Rose. Heads up in Provo: This is the only scenario in which a 13-0 BYU can seize a major bowl bid.

The Sugar Bowl might be LSU vs. Illinois, or Nebraska-Illinois.

The Orange could be Maryland-Nebraska or Florida-Maryland.

* The Heisman Trophy race. They might as well pick a name, lottery style, from among 100 pingpong balls swirling in a canister. Heisman ballots are due this week, but don’t be surprised if voters pencil in their own box, none of the above , or go with Green Party longshot Ralph Nader.

Truth is, all of this year’s Heisman candidates are flawed.

* Eric Crouch (Nebraska). He’s coming off a game in which he didn’t start rolling up numbers until his team got behind, 35-3. Oh, he’s thrown three more interceptions, 10, than touchdown passes.

And he is ... the leader in the clubhouse?

* Rex Grossman (Florida). Was vying to become the first sophomore to win the trophy, but Saturday’s loss probably ended that quest.

* Ken Dorsey (Miami). He’s the star quarterback on the nation’s No. 1 team, but did little to distinguish himself in Saturday’s two-point win over Virginia Tech.

* Joey Harrington (Oregon). He’s what announcers call “a gamer,” a guy who relies more on guile and a great tailback tandem than statistics.

* David Carr (Fresno State). Arkansas Razorbacks will fly before a Fresno State player wins. Carr threw six touchdown passes in the Bulldogs’ raucous rout of Utah State, but here’s guessing the pro scouts were more impressed than the Heisman watchers.

The best player, Antwaan Randle El of Indiana, buckles up for a losing squad, but that only works if the school is Notre Dame and your name Paul Hornung.

If the trophy was awarded based on play since Thanksgiving, Colorado tailback Chris Brown (nine touchdowns in two games) wins in a Rocky Mountain landslide.