This Is the Way You Deal With a Terrible November

Holy Rick Pitino, I think it’s time.

I believe Peter Dalis’ final act--before resigning as athletic director at UCLA in June--should be giving Steve Lavin a lifetime contract to coach the Bruins.

I know this, right now Dalis should be insisting that football Coach Bob Toledo spend more time with Lavin, and learn how to contend with adversity and overcome it.

Toledoitis, as we now know it, is the very worst thing that can happen to any coach--that malady that begins with a fast start and heightened expectations almost always leading to a collapse.

Better that you are Lavin, hellbent on deflating expectations as quickly as possible--losing to Cal State Northridge or Ball State or Pepperdine--and then delivering a finishing Sweet 16 kick that has everyone muttering: “I can’t believe he did it.”

The Lavin Doctrine, as I am certain sports historians will refer to it one day, has already been adopted by Colorado and Coach Gary Barnett.

The Buffaloes opened the season with a loss to Fresno State, which ranks right up there in the sports world with tumbling to Northridge, Ball State and Pepperdine. The newspapers in Denver began to question Colorado’s wisdom in hiring Barnett. Imagine if columnist Diane Pucin were working there--she’d have him fired.

Now there are some who think Colorado should be playing for the national championship, and Barnett’s stock is soaring, although his team has one more loss than Tennessee, Illinois, Maryland, Nebraska and Oregon and two more than Brigham Young.

I have no doubt Lavin is Barnett’s role model.

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FOR THE record, the first person this year to suggest Rick Majerus’ name as a potential replacement for Lavin after UCLA’s back-to-back pratfalls against Ball State and Pepperdine was Lavin. He said it in jest, of course, because when you coach with a noose around your neck, it makes you kind of a gallows humor expert.

The reaction to UCLA’s latest basketball flop, however, shows you just how far Lavin has come. The UCLA basketball office, while taking one nasty phone call after the loss to Ball State, received no calls or e-mails demanding Lavin’s ouster after the Pauley Pavilion loss to Pepperdine.

The foregone expectation, apparently, is that somehow, some way, Lavin will get the Bruins to the Sweet 16, and then who knows what might happen.

Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski and Michigan State’s Tom Izzo--two coaches who have received a pat on the back recently in the form of millions of dollars--are the only ones besides Lavin to guide their team to the Sweet 16 four of the past five years. And since Krzyzewski and Izzo won’t be available anytime soon, why would anyone want to take the chance of letting Lavin get away?

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ISN’T IT time to get off Lavin’s back? He has proven he’s an outstanding recruiter, has overcome early departures to the NBA, and in an age of NCAA tournament buzzer-beaters, he has had the Bruins in position to make a serious run for the national title almost every year he has been on the job.

The naysayers and nitpickers have had the floor for six years, and while many of their criticisms have been valid, UCLA has paid the price for a young coach learning on the job. And while there are several embarrassing defeats on his resume, there are just as many back-to-the-wall victory marches when everyone had the Bruins down for the count.

As far as I’m concerned, a Pepperdine loss should just be part of the Lavin lore--something to look forward to every year, or as he puts it, “It does give you that sense of ‘Groundhog Day,”’ referring to the Bill Murray movie.

“I told the team after the Pepperdine game: ‘I’m a terrible November coach, but I’ve been here before--we know what to do.’ Sure, I’d like us to be 4-0 right now instead of 2-2, but I know from past experiences you can’t waste your time and energy worrying about it or be too grim. You have to remember you’re dealing with 18-to 20-year-old kids, and it’s all about directing your energy to improve and finish strongly.”

Someone should clip that, and put it on Toledo’s desk.

“Maybe Bob should coach the basketball team early on, while I coach the football team the last part of the season,” said Lavin, once again falling back on his gallows sense of humor, and at UCLA that gallows is getting a little crowded these days, although I see no reason to have Lavin hanging there anymore.

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UCLA WAS afraid a bowl game at this time might be construed by the NCAA as an “extra benefit.”

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I KNOW we haven’t heard from DeShaun Foster, and it really has no more impact on his eligibility, but I’d still like to know what he’s driving these days.

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NO TRUTH to the rumor that as soon as John Smoltz got word the Dodgers might be interested in him--he immediately signed to play again for Atlanta.

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IF THE NFL insists on parity, it should provide a Gramatica to every team.

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IF YOU read our Jason Reid’s story on the Dodgers today, there’s something very strange going on with pitcher Terry Adams and the team’s apparent uninterest in retaining one of its top performers. Is he too expensive? Is he damaged goods? Did he take Rupert Murdoch’s name in vain? Dan Evans has refused to offer any insight, which, based on what I’ve seen from the new Dodger general manager to date, is understandable.

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EVEN BOB Davie, coaching the Raiders, could have beaten Arizona.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Mike:

“I watched your TV show with [King Coach] Andy Murray and he made you look like a columnist for the Daily Bruin. Most distressing was your obvious lack of NHL knowledge. I wanted you to ask Murray about the possibility of Tony Amonte being available this season.”

Who is Tony Amonte?

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.