Slim Jim Takes Care of His Friends

I should have listened to my mother.

Get yourself a nice job in PR, she told me before I started down this other road. And she had never even been to L.A.

In just three years, an Encino public relations company called Winner & Associates has carted away $9 million in public money to promote the expansion of Los Angeles International Airport.

It’s not clear to me what they did for that money, but I would have done it for a mere $8 million if they’d asked. Especially after one subcontractor hired out by Winner said there was so little work involved, he felt “truly guilty” for lining up at the trough.

“It would be your dream contract,” he told Times reporters Jennifer Oldham and Jeffrey Rabin.

Unfortunately, taxpayers might as well have stacked that $9 million on the tarmac and set it ablaze. The LAX expansion plan has been dumped since Sept. 11, the airport is $127 million in the hole and hundreds of employees have been thrown out of work.

They should have gone into PR.

Despite the gloom and uncertainty at LAX, Santa just might drop another sack of money down the chimney of Chuck Winner, who owns Winner & Associates.

Without regard to objections from desperate airport bean counters, the Airport Commission ordered a $1.5-million extension of the Winner contract.

Did I mention that Chuck Winner sponsored three fund-raisers for Slim Jim Hahn when he ran for mayor? Or that Hahn has a hand puppet named Ted Stein running the Airport Commission for him?

The commission has its hands on millions of dollars and operates practically in the dark, accountable to virtually no one but the mayor. Stein, in fact, is the all-star who once hired Whitewater jailbird Webster Hubbell to a lobbying contract without telling anyone.

People keep wondering what Hahn’s vision is for Los Angeles, the most dynamic city in the country, and I’m telling you, we’re looking at it.

Take care of friends. Keep a low profile. And run for cover when trouble stirs. He’s on vacation now, probably home mowing the lawn in San Pedro.

With Slim Jim, there is even less than meets the eye.

On Tuesday, this little matter of the PR contract landed before the City Council, and I poked my head into the meeting to see where they would go with it.

If you have not been to one of these affairs, by the way, you ought to drop by and see what your tax dollar is buying. They got out of the gates nearly 30 minutes late because half the council members were AWOL.

Council President Alex Padilla, the camp counselor, had to get on the PA to put out an all points bulletin, and even when they finally showed up, council members lollygagged and chattered like delinquents.

I’ve seen more decorum at a cockfight.

Councilman Nick Pacheco gave the first clue that Hahn might not get a totally free pass on the $1.5-million stocking stuffer.

Hahn’s team sent in a schlub of a deputy to take the mayor’s lumps for him, and Pacheco asked the guy if there was any connection between the contract sweetener and Winner’s campaign support of Hahn.

No, Hahn’s deputy said to Pacheco’s softball question, and that was that. What else was the guy going to say?

Doesn’t anybody know how to play hardball in this town? Put a little mustard on it, Nick. Make the guy’s knees knock.

Council members Cindy Miscikowski and Ruth Galanter were a little better at keeping the lackey off balance. We’re already $9 million into Winner & Associates, they said, for a plan that’s in the wastebasket. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to get a new plan in place before Winner & Associates pulls out of the loading docks with another $1.5 big ones on the truck?

“The plan is being developed right now by our staff,” said Hahn’s deputy.

The plan is being developed? What’s the big secret? Is it so awful that only a multimillion-dollar PR campaign from Mayor Hahn’s good buddy can make it palatable?

Councilman Jack Weiss said he wasn’t comfortable voting on the contract extension until he knows a little more. That brought Councilman Nate Holden out of his seat to defend the giveaway. “Be assured,” Holden said, referring to The Times story that might have saved taxpayers $1.5 million, “that you can’t legislate based on the newspaper.”

This was no head-smacking surprise. I rushed my resume over to Holden’s office the last time he was giving away consulting contracts. But on Tuesday, I might have been the only one in the room he hasn’t put on the dole at some point.

In the end, the council voted 11-1 (guess who?) to give this thing another look on Jan. 15. I plan to make the switch to PR by then.

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Steve Lopez writes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He can be reached at steve.lopez@latimes.com