LAUGH LINES

Perks of the Trade: “In Germany, a bill has been passed to boost the legal standing of prostitutes. From now on, they will be entitled to unemployment and health insurance as well as being able to turn down customers and refuse to perform certain sex acts. That’s a better deal than most actors in Hollywood get.” (Jay Leno)

Playing With Drugs: “Bristol-Myers Squibb said recently that the company will cut 1,000 jobs. They say they want to focus exclusively on the drug business. It will be tough, but most analysts agree there’s always room for one more team in the National Football League.” (Argus Hamilton)

Smoke Scents: “I read where a tobacco company is now coming out with tobacco breath mints. Breath mints made from tobacco? How bad is your breath when tobacco is an improvement? Who is this for? Why would you want this? Is this for people [who think] ‘I don’t want to be a smoker. I just want to smell like one.’” (Leno)

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