Gone in 60 Minutes? It Wasn’t Gas That Gave Stolen Car Its Get-Up-and-Go

I know that some people think of cars as sex symbols, but this is ridiculous: An alarm company rep phoned the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department to report the sounding of an alarm in a stolen Plymouth “Viagra.” I think he was referring to Plymouth’s potent Voyager.

You forgot to study? “I found this on the tray under my food order at the Santa Monica Place,” writes Ira Bibbero of West L.A (see accompanying).

He figures the list of businesses either went to press too early or it was a fill-in quiz for diners.

Speaking of food: The holidays are a time for sharing recipes, so I wanted to pass along this delightful concoction for a pastry--a very meaty pastry (see accompanying).

Lost and found: “Hope springs eternal, I guess,” commented Tom Fox of San Clemente, who sent along a snapshot of a sign he saw posted at a construction project on Rodeo Drive (see photo).

Not exactly the holiday spirit: The Hollywood Independent’s police log carried a complaint from a 55-year-old driver who said she was offended by a man who yelled, “I got the parking space first!” before turning his back and dropping his pants.

Duh! I mentioned the police report in the South Bay about the burglar who “used the victim’s bathroom and left the toilet seat up.”

Well, Philippe Brieu of Westwood notes that in an episode of TV’s “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” the sleuths came upon just such a clue and surmised that the intruder was . . . a man. And they were correct!

Next case: You may recall the controversy over whether Caltech had lifted its “tangent-secant-cosine” football cheer from MIT--and how a Carnegie Mellon grad came forth with a surprise disclosure. He found an old cheer book from the 1920s that made a reference to C-I-T (or the Carnegie Institute of Technology, now Carnegie Mellon).

But now I’m hearing from readers who wonder why C-I-T couldn’t also refer to the California Institute of Technology, a k a Caltech? I think it’s time to turn over the CIT case to CSI.

Tourist advisory: One of the reasons visitors are so nervous about driving in L.A., writes Kim Weir in her L.A. travel guide, is that “Angelenos typically refer to local freeways by name, not number.”

This, she points out, “can be mighty confusing for neophytes, since the Hollywood Freeway (101) is also the Ventura Freeway, the Santa Monica Freeway (I-10) is also the San Bernardino Freeway, the Golden State Freeway (I-5) is also the Santa Ana Freeway, and the faithful north-south San Diego Freeway (405) never actually arrives in San Diego (not until it becomes I-5).”

SUVs aren’t the only problem: Weir also gives this tip for freeway navigating in L.A.: “Never drive in front of a BMW or behind a Volvo.” And if you see a Plymouth Viagra, get off the road.

miscelLAny: My colleague Mike Grundmann has a simple security solution for airports and airliners, inspired by the latest scare: Sedate all passengers at curbside.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.